Page 26 of Synodic

“I have this memory,” he said as a dark shadow settled over his features, and his gaze went where I couldn’t follow. Even if I could, I didn’t think I’d want to. It looked like it hurt too much. Maybe there were things my hallucination needed to get off his chest as well. “When I think of it or when it bombards my thoughts without provocation, I relive it over and over again. And it’s real, Keira. It’s real every time.”

11

A plate shattered to the ground, the clang of the impact making me jump as Rowen’s words reverberated through me like a cymbal.It’s real, Keira. It’s real every time.

I sat at a table across from Natalie, who looked the epitome of poise and perfection. Not a single hair out of place with her manicured brows and blonde hair pulled up into a tight top knot.

We were at one of our favorite restaurants. Though, I had absolutely no memory of coming here.

I suddenly realized my roommate, along with a slightly perturbed server with browline glasses and a handlebar mustache, were waiting for me to order.

Snapping out of my stupor, I quickly asked for my usual and placed the menu in the server’s already outstretched hand. He flashed a quick, agitated smile and sped off toward the kitchen.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I’m so happy you let me take you out today. Even though every time we come here this place gets busier and busier,” Natalie said, side-eyeing the crowd.

“I guess the secret’s out,” I tried to respond casually as if my mind wasn’t falling apart and that chunks of my days weren’t going missing.

But if Natalie noticed me acting strangely, she didn’t mention it. My lapse in time had gone completely unnoticed by her. She seemed preoccupied, nervously twisting at a piece of torn napkin. “I have to let you know I still feel terrible about pressuring you to go to Prism. I feel like I should have known that would happen.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. There is no way you could have known,” I said yet again. I’d been trying to assuage her guilt for days, but she was hellbent on reliving and apologizing for it every chance she got.

I knew she still felt terrible about leaving me alone at the club, but no one could have predicted how my body would react to alcohol, and I was sick of talking about it. I just wanted to move on.

“How are things at the firm?” I asked, changing the subject.

“They have me doing nothing but cease and desist letters all day. I can’t believe I’m not getting paid for it. It’s literally so mind-numbing and boring…nothing like the sounds I heard coming from your room last night,” she said with a devilish smirk. “How did you sleep last night? Any dreams?”

“Don’t people hate hearing about other people’s dreams?”

“Typically yes, but it seemed like you were enjoying yourself, more so than when you actually have someone in there with you.”

“We really need thicker walls.”

“So who was the dream about,” she pressed. “Those noises! Really, I was beginning to feel a bit lonely and envious. Please spare no detail! Who was it? The cute guy from the coffee shop, your track coach, or…” She gasped, putting her hand to her mouth. “Did you sneak someone in? I know it couldn’t have been Harlan."

“I didn’t sneak anyone in, but even if I had, Harlan and I aren’t exclusive. I’m free to do what I want. But if you must know, I’m meeting with him tonight. He wants to make things up to me.”

“So you were dreaming of Harlan then,” she said confidently as if she’d cracked the code.

It would have been so easy for me to agree and go along with her assumptions, but somehow denying Rowen in any capacity felt like too large of a lie.

“No,” I told Natalie. “It was someone not from around here. You’ve never met him.” It wasn’t technically untrue.

“Keira! Who?” she practically screeched. Natalie was like a hound tracking the scent of blood. She wasn’t going to let me off that easily. I knew she wanted a juicy story, and she wouldn’t drop it until she got one.

“A sprinter from a competing college,” I said, thinking on my feet, hoping she wouldn’t sniff out the lie. I would have to be careful with how much she heard through our paper-thin walls. I’d already divulged too much with the story of the silver rose, and look how that turned out.

She’d tried to be compassionate, but there was that underlying look of uncomfortable pity, and I couldn’t have anyone look at me like that. Not ever.

To my relief, my response seemed to appease her. “Oh, a sprinter huh? You know I love watching them run,” she said as our server returned with plates full of fresh food.

My quinoa burger with greens spilling out the sides smelled delicious and my stomach growled in response. “I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten all day!” I exclaimed, eyeing my burger, determining the best angle of approach.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized my mistake. “What about the smoothie?” she asked, her voice rising with alarm.

“That sludge is far from filling,” I said through a mouthful of food.

It was a lie by omission, but I wassonot ready to have this conversation with her. I had way bigger problems to deal with.

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