Page 50 of Deadline for Love

My heart leaped for joy, my butterflies rioted, and my knees felt soft.

“I’m... happy too,” I admitted quietly, even though he was no longer there.

Once I got some feeling in my legs, I walked dreamily into the bedroom, where the bed linens were also decorated in pastel colors.

I couldn’t stop grinning; I hadn’t felt like this for a long time. I would never and could never compare Nathan to my past relationships, but I was still cautious.

The men I had dated had never been ready for a genuine relationship; they just wanted one thing, and usually, the relationship couldn’t be saved afterward. My jerk ex, Robert, sometimes made me feel like he loved me, even though it wasn’t really love when he insisted that I shouldn’t go out or meet anyone... His reason was to protect me from thedark world. But in the end, he just wanted to control me and hide his other relationship. It wasn’t love. He couldn’t even remember my birthday.

My therapist said that it was completely normal to fall in love and no longer be able to accurately assess the behavior of others because you want to talk yourself into everything... But I still get annoyed that I just let many things slide.

I had to forgive my young self. I needed to put it behind me. I wasn’t foolish. I was clever, and I had learned from my mistakes—I just needed to keep telling myself that.

I quickly scurried to bed and then picked up my phone. I had missed several calls from Amara, so I had to take care of her first.

It didn’t take long for her to accept a video chat with me.

“Explain everything to me now!”was her command, I didn’t have time to greet her.

Amara was already in her sleeping clothes, wearing her silk pajamas, sitting cross-legged on the bed like it was story-time.

I had to let out a long exhale before explaining. She listened to it with a blank expression, and the more I explained, the closer Justin came into the picture—apparently, the two of them had made up, which made me happy. I didn’t mind him being in our conversations. Amara would have sent him away if I didn’t want him there.

“Bel, I think staying with Nathan is a good idea,”Justin replied as I finally finished explaining things, and Amara was still processing everything.

“Well, we want to catch the killer…” I said, scratching my neck sheepishly.

“That’s one thing... But trust me, Bella. He’s a really good person. I’ve known him for a long time; he used to be different, more outgoing, but when his sister was murdered, he suffered a lot and withdrew completely.”My heart tightened as he spoke; his tone was clearly gloomy, and he looked sad as he continued,“He was always there for others, including me. But his life has completely changed... It was difficult to persuade him to come along when we tried to set you guys up.”

He paused momentarily before adding with a grin,“But believe it or not, I haven’t seen him like this for long. And it’s only because of you.”

I had to swallow hard, as I couldn’t imagine having such an impact on his feelings. I hadn’t been on my best behavior that day, and we hadn’t talked that much either...

“He hasn’t shown any interest in anything for a long time. He did his work to the best of his ability but didn’t care about anything else. Since the meeting, he’s flourished at work—he’s talking to people more and seems to have a new lease on life. You’re doing him good. Even if you’re not ready for a relationship, I’m glad you gave him a chance. Of course, I get why you’re doing this, but maybe things will work out between you.”

The fact that Justin was so open showed me that he cared about his friend, which I thought was really touching.

“Nevertheless, she shouldn’t be forced into anything,”Amara said.“Nia’s idea isn’t bad, but I don’t want you to feel forced to do something you don’t want to do because of others. Your feelings matter.”

She always preached taking care of yourself, but wasn’t great at taking her own advice.

If Amara were in a situation like that, as a friend, I would have told her not to do anything she didn’t like, but when you’re there yourself, you just have to consider everything.

“Nathan is really good to me. That’s why I’m here,” I started to say, and I meant it. Speaking these words aloud was also a step towards better understanding and admitting my feelings.

“This is the first time I’ve ever been so comfortable with a man,” I admitted, almost bringing tears to Amara’s eyes as she knew what I had already experienced.

A faint smile formed on her full lips, and then she said,“If that’s how you feel, then I believe you. Take good care of yourself and listen to your gut—not your heart.”

This conversation just filled my heart with joy. It felt good to talk to them, and I felt less confused about my feelings.

After we hung up, I lay on my back and stared at the empty side of the bed. My mind was spinning with Justin’s words, and I felt pressure in my heart, so I closed my eyes and applied pressure to the spot with my hand.

Nathan must have suffered immensely after the loss of his sister, and who knew, maybe he was suffering right now... Hopefully, I could ease his pain when we caught the killer.

Chapter 18

I woke up the next morning well-rested and alone. I stretched and looked around, confused, but I couldn’t see any sign that Nathan had come to bed. I kept stretching, tidied the bed, and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

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