Page 60 of Deadline for Love

“I was thinking a lot about my family yesterday and... I talked to my parents.”

He lowered his eyes and took a while to find his words, but I waited patiently and gave him the time. “The joy in our home died with her, and... they blamed me. I don’t hold it against them; they’re right. If I had acted sooner and been more caring, maybe it would never have happened…” His voice sounded brittle again, and his words left a bitter taste in my mouth. But the next thing he said surprised me more. “They told me... I don’t deserve to have a happy life. And I know I don’t deserve it, but I was hoping they would be glad that I had a clue about the killer and... that I had you with me.”

My eyes widened in shock. Many threads in my head found their way to match pieces of thought, and now, many things made more sense. When Justin told me that Nathan lived in seclusion after the loss, that he only devoted himself to work and helped people when they needed help, Nathan confessed to me that he always worked late at night and preferred to deal with his worries by training rather than talking... Everything made more sense. I knew that the death of a loved one could change you, but everyone grieved differently. When his own parents contributed to him feeling responsible for his sister’s murder, it made it even worse.

I automatically hugged him closer and hoped that I could give him some comfort.

We stayed in each other’s arms for quite a while, and he tightened his grip on me, too. At some point, I looked into his eyes again, which looked lost and hurt. Then I lifted my hand and placed it gently on his chin.

“Nathan, no matter what anyone says—even if they are your own parents—everyone deserves to be happy. You are not to blame for what happened. No one other than the killer should be held responsible. It’s not anyone else's fault.”

He nodded, still lost in thought, but then his eyes flashed with anger, and he looked serious again. “Right, the killer must be held responsible…”

Slowly, I lowered my hand; a horrible thought came to my mind as I remembered the last time I saw this look from him. “Nathan… If we catch the killer. Then he will get his just punishment through the court.”

He flinched as if I’d said something wrong, then let go of me and took a few deep breaths.

“Yeah… you’re right.” Then he mumbled something I couldn’t hear and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Actually, I didn’t want to talk about it, Bella.”

I didn’t know how to assess his behavior. But I had a terrible feeling.

After the somewhat gloomy breakfast, I headed to my office; Aicha and Eric were there before me this time.

“Someone must be in a bad mood. What's wrong?” Aicha asked loudly, directed at Eric, but she spoke separately so I could hear everything.

“Young love is always a bit complicated, but that’s normal,” Eric replied, almost making me smile, but I didn’t feel like it.

“Guys, nothing happened. We didn’t have a fight. I just got another letter.’’

My statement wasn’t a lie, so I didn’t feel bad about saying it.

Actually, I was more concerned about Nathan now. What if his goal was to get revenge on the killer? Retribution for his sister?

Maybe he was interested in me and wanted to be with me, but what if his other goal carried more weight? I couldn’t forget his expression from breakfast this morning.

Unsettled, I shook the thoughts out of my head and turned my attention to my emails. Mr. Morgan had replied and thanked me for the information about the new letter and Janette. One sentence in particular struck me. He claimed that Janette never called the police. With the new information he let me know that additional patrols would be scheduled.

I gnawed thoughtfully on my lower lip; had Janette lied to me? But why would she lie about calling the police? She looked afraid and seriously shocked —the whole situation had been confusing.

My chest tightened as I read his email. Unfortunately, a new missing person had been reported. He gave me the woman’s name—Jessica Rue—and a picture to put in the newspaper. He also provided a number to ask people to call if they had information.

This oppressive feeling spread through my chest, and I couldn’t breathe.

“Bella, are you alright?” Aicha asked as she approached me.

“Eric, open the window!” she ordered and bent over to me. “Hey, sweetie, come on, breathe in and out slowly.”

She turned off my monitor which distracted me from my panic and let me see the worry in her eyes.

After I finally managed to take long, calm breaths, she let go of me, and Eric handed me a glass of water.

“Kid, you ok?” Eric patted my back worriedly and sighed.

“It would be better if you went home today; you need to rest.” Aicha took her phone out of her jacket pocket and wanted to call someone, but I shook my head violently. I couldn’t stop now.

“Please, I’m fine. I’m sorry, a girl was reported missing, and it just overwhelmed me with everything else going on,” I answered quickly.

Eric let his hand rest on my shoulder while Aicha put the phone on the table.

---