Page 82 of Deadline for Love

The first thing I checked was that his wounds were being dressed. His cheeks were still swollen, his eye was black, and his lips had developed a slight scab.

My heart quivered at the sight. I could never have imagined this whole scene in my mind. Yet it was pure reality.

I slowly sat down and then picked up the recording device and my document with the questions I had customized for JeffreyMorgan. He wanted the confession recorded as well as written. My part was the oral confession.

I looked nervously at my questions again and then explained in a calm voice how I would proceed. Fernando nodded a few times, and before I pressed the start button, he said, “I’m glad you could arrange it, Bella. I won’t talk my way out of it, and I’ll try to answer the questions as best I can.”

My heart tightened more and more hearing his voice.

“And I’m glad you’re feeling better, ma Bella.”

I had been wrong about him, and I couldn’t bear to know that this man was once someone so great, someone I loved and cherished. But I knew it now. I knew he wasn’t who I had loved all those years. He was a monster—so I pulled myself together and pressed record.

I started with an introduction and then asked, “Why did you commit these acts, and what was your role in this murderous collaboration?”

Fernando took a deep breath and then said, “I lured the victims, and after they were put into a deep sleep, I adorned them. I did this to finally stand in a different light and get noticed. I didn’t care whether it was positive or negative. I no longer wanted to be the little boy who was only considered good when I did everything I was told. I wanted to be free.”

He looked up and then leaned against the chair. His answer left me numb. “You mean killed, not put to sleep. Otherwise, you could wake the victims up again, but they’re dead.”

Fernando bit his lower lip slightly after my statement and tapped his fingers on the table. He seemed to be getting nervous, but I couldn’t really trust myself to interpret anything about him.

“Yes, they won’t wake up,” he agreed.

“What made you choose and lure the victims?”

“Ignorance... but honestly, Bella, I only picked people who were lonely themselves, excluded and without anyone.”

I looked down at my questions because Fernando’s gaze was too intense. I couldn’t tell whether he showed remorse or compassion for the victims.

“How did you feel during the crimes? What were your thoughts?”

My question seemed to make him think for a long time, and as it dragged on, I said, “I can ask another question.

“No, wait. I can answer that one. I just need a moment.” He tilted his head, and his gaze now seemed distant. “I felt alive to show my art, and I was excited to get the reactions. Julian had let me do everything, the poems and the design. He had his fun by killing the victims, and I enjoyed my creativity.”

The wordfunwas like a thorn in my side. Because nothing about what he did was fun or artistic. It was just terrifying and utterly awful. Before I could comment, he added, “But that’s not to say he’s the only one to blame. I lured the victims, played with their emotions, and made them believe I loved them so they would trust me. I’m worse than Julian.”

In the interview, I was supposed to refrain from my emotions and personal views, and I was about to ruin everything with my actions. I needed a moment, so I looked at my questions again, read through them all, and then picked out the easiest ones.

“Did you deliberately leave clues in the poems?”

“Yes. I wanted all the attention from the person I had loved and adored for several years. I wanted all her attention, regardless of whether it was fear or love. It didn’t matter if she hated me either. I wanted to have all her feelings to myself and not share them with anyone.”

I swallowed hard after his answer and continued with more questions, all of which he answered, and eventually, I came to the last one.

“Is there anything you want to say to the families of the victims?”

He nodded and smiled at me. “Oh yes, I do. Don’t just love and worry about your children when something happens to them. Show your children love and support even when they get bad grades, lose their jobs, or are hurt by other people. Loneliness is what kills you, especially when life gets hard. I’m not sorry that I’ve relieved their suffering because, for years, I’ve wanted my suffering to be taken away. Life is not good when you have parents and friends who only pay attention to you when things are going well.”

His words flowed into the room with a cold jolt, brushing around my skin and hitting my heart.

“I just wanted to be free for once. Free from the worry, the constant pressure, the pain.”

I stopped the recording and clenched my hands into fists. Then I took a deep breath and exhaled, “Life is not easy. No, life is hard, and there are many lows and highs. I have no right to judge your life, but I want to tell you one thing. Nothing justifies your actions. It may be that the victims were not well and were in a hopeless situation, but they were all young and had a long life ahead of them. You said so yourself that you gave them hope. If someone decided to stop living like you thought, they wouldn’t even want that. They wouldn’t have gotten involved with you and tried to find a way in life. You have found a foothold in your life with these heinous acts. You are all very young. You would all have been able to get your lives back on track. You shouldn’t let fate get you down. You can cry and be in a bad mood, but at some point, everything turns around. Eventually, you’ll come back stronger.” I loosened my hands again and then picked up the recorder.

“We all have troubled times, bad experiences that throw us into the abyss, each one harder than the last, but you shouldalways remember what you have, who you still have, and continue with that.”

As I spoke, I got angry. I put all my stuff in my bag and looked at Fernando again. “My parents were always traveling; even now they are touring, they never cared about my life. I was left alone even as a child. But my neighbors liked to take care of me. Enzo and Maria. I always thought it was a punishment from my parents to leave me with my neighbors. Until I accepted it at some point. I was cheated on, lied to, and lost important people in my life. I got a lot of job rejections and often had to repeat my exams because I failed. And now I have to deal with a lot of other things.”

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