Page 83 of Deadline for Love

“Oh, come on, Bella, that’s nothing.”

“You’re right. It may be nothing for you, but it was horrible for me. It was the end of the world for me. I had often toyed with the idea of giving up my life. I often thought death would be more liberating than thisnot-so-badlife.”

“But now you must be happy, right? Your articles are a hit, you’re celebrated as a heroine, and you’ve put the killers behind bars…”

“I wish I could think like you. But no, Fernando. All the letters have shocked me; the corpses have crushed me and haunted my dreams. I’ve lost people I love.”

Fernando looked at me, clearly confused, which broke my heart.

“You really think that you meant nothing to me? All I can tell you is this: I loved you very much. You and Amara were the reasons I didn’t give up on life. You supported me in my worst time when everything came crashing at once and gave me hope. I was thrilled that you came back here. But now, I can’t describe my feelings. My heart is broken. I had so much hope for you. So much love. But what you did with Julian… it’s just hard for me to digest. You can’t imagine how much this hurts.”

Fernando’s eyes glistened, and tears slowly ran down his cheeks and dripped onto his hands.

“I loved you, and I still can’t believe I’ve lost you like this. I drive myself mad day and night, wondering how this could have happened, how I could’ve prevented you from getting onto a path like this...” I sighed and added, “But now I will slowly come to terms with it. Fernando, I wish you a long time in prison, and I hope you regret your actions forever.”

I turned around and grabbed the door, and the moment I opened it, Fernando sobbed loudly and said, “Bella, I still love you, and I’m sorry. Please take care of Enzo and Maria.”

I bit down hard on my bottom lip, my heart wrenching at his words. I just nodded weakly and then walked out. Two police officers entered the room, and I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor.

At some point, Mr. Morgan stood beside me and patted my shoulders. He helped me up and pulled me into his arms.

“Thank you for your help, we heard everything. I’m sorry.”

Chapter 32

I couldn’t cry. I just walked around like a zombie and could only remain silent as Mr. Morgan offered his thanks for all the work I had done.

My heart felt like it would shatter into a thousand pieces, and the emptiness inside me seemed insurmountable as I drove to Nathan’s penthouse. The password was still the same, but no one was home. The scent of Nathan lingered in the air. Every breath was a struggle, as if my body were fighting against the gravity of my grief.

My arms shook as I walked to the dressing room and packed my clothes. Next, I went to the bedroom, where I still had a few books. My gaze lingered briefly on the bed. Memories flashed before me of Nathan and I lying there—my head nestled against his chest where I could feel his breathing, hear his heartbeat. Our pillows were beside each other, and the blanket we shared was spread out and appeared unused. A pillow of scars and a blanket of pain. The place looked so empty...

Sighing, I picked up the last of my belongings and then stopped in the kitchen. I pulled the wedding ring and the noteI had written from my pocket. My eyes wandered through my words, and I felt the last little spark in my heart fade.

Dear Nathan,

I don’t know where to reach you or whether you will even read this letter. Probably not... but I wanted to thank you. Thank you for taking care of me, thank you for loving me, and most of all, thank you for saving me. I’m sorry that I ruined your plans. You may not believe me, but my heart ached when I pointed the gun to stop you. It pains me to recall that day. The pain in your eyes, the pain you felt. I’m so sorry, but I only did it because I didn’t want you to waste your life. Maybe I overstepped my bounds, but I didn’t want you to do something you would regret later. We all have a long life ahead of us. I really wished that we had a chance to enjoy life together. But I understand that you don’t want to see me anymore. Now that everything is done, I believe it’s time to end our arrangement. Thank you for everything. I truly wish you the best.

Yours, Bella.

I gently brushed the paper and left it on the table. The wedding ring and the certificate were placed next to it.

With my belongings, I left the building and got into my car. I gathered myself for a moment and headed to my apartment. Tossing my things into a corner, I went to my cupboard to pour myself a glass of wine.

As I lay on the sofa with the glass in my hand, I stared at my TV, lost in thought. I didn’t want to be alone, so why was I kidding myself? I had been busy with my job for days, and now that I was sitting here, it all hit me at once.

The tears I had held back for so long broke over me like a storm, and I felt enveloped by an immeasurable loneliness. I was in despair.

Gradually, I leaned back and let the tears dripping in my ear and the lump in my throat crush me even more. I was on the floor like I had been hit, and the pain overtook me like a train.

I lifted the glass, toasted to my misery, and sipped the bittersweet stuff.

“What are we toasting to today?”

I closed my eyes and turned my face to hide my tears. I figured she knew I was here. She had been worried about me all these days and never left me alone. I had snuck in here to finally drown my sorrows, but I could forget about it now.

“Well, you’re definitely not toasting anything. Think about your baby.” My voice betrayed me, even though I didn’t really want to. It crumbled and was heavy in the air.

Amara laughed softly at my statement and took the glass from my hand. Then, she gave me a concerned glance and said, “You shouldn’t do that either.”

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