Page 84 of Deadline for Love

“It’s only one glass, and I haven’t even finished it yet.”

“Bella, move over.” She ignored my comment, and I complied by putting my legs down so she could sit next to me. Then, I grabbed my arms and wiped my dried tears.

“Next week, our entire department will be honored for our role in closing this case.”

I took a long breath. “I don’t think I can do that.”

She clicked her tongue at my comment. “Yes, you can. Let yourself be honored and celebrated. You’ve worked hard to find the killers. Hell, you pretended to be married to lure them out. So, stop saying you didn’t do anything.”

When she mentioned the fake marriage, my tears burst out, my throat tightened, and I felt like I was about to choke.

“Oh, Bella. Have you been crying about Nathan?”

Her question made me sob. I had been thinking about everything, all the events, the victims, the work, Enzo and Maria, and Fernando, too, but I had to admit that Nathan occupied a huge place in my heart.

“Yes,” I confessed.

She gently kissed my forehead, and then she started to speak, but the memories of Nathan were crowding my mind, and I was struggling to concentrate. Eventually, I stuttered until I saw the words that best expressed my feelings.

“I love him.” My voice was so thin and hurt with every word. My vision was blurred, but I could tell that Amara was crying too.

“Bel, my dear.’’ She cradled me in her arms, and my body shook violently. She let me cry and stayed next to me, which helped me give free rein to the overwhelming feelings and encouragement.

“The fact that a man made you cry again.’’ She sounded angry but also empathetic. “Bella, no man is worth this.”

“But he’s different,” I objected.“I’ve never felt as much as I do with him. I love him so much.”

“I understand you love him, but he’s still not worth hurting yourself.”

I shook my head. “You’re right, but... Nathan is just different.”

My head felt heavy, my eyes burning, with my heart. “Bella, I’m going to let you cry about this today and vent it all out, but after that, promise me you’ll take care of yourself. No matter how great Nathan is, you’ve been through too much. You have the right to be happy. Even without him.”

When she said that, I cried again. I hadn’t actually stopped, but right now, it seemed so painful to hear those words—life without him... It hurt me so much. Nathan kept turning up in my thoughts every day. He stayed so long that I dreamed of him; I dreamed of what we no longer had. And each time, I hoped wewould see each other again one day, but maybe it was too late. Perhaps we would never see each other again, and I—

“I love him so much.”

Amara sighed and squeezed my head against her shoulder. “Let it all out, babe.” She let me cry and babble nonsense until I got tired and stopped talking and just cried.

After hours of crying, I rested my head on the cushioned back of the sofa and wanted to close my eyes, but then the bell rang at my front door.

Amara got up with a grin as if she already knew who was waiting, and when she opened the door Nia, Aicha, and Janette entered my apartment.

The four women looked at me and smiled lovingly. They held something in their hands and got closer to me with every step.

Nia said, “So I’ve brought some drinks, snacks, and a few good movies.”

Janette carried flowers. “And I have some pretty roses to add a little more color to the apartment.”

Aicha held books and said, “I have some new romance novels for you.”

My mouth tightened into a pout, and my nose started to run.

“Nia shared stories of everything you’ve done, and we can’t imagine what you’ve been through. She told us about the marriage too. What a trick you played on us all.” Aicha shook her head and approached me; she hugged me and continued, “Amara messaged me, and we got together and decided to have a girls’ night. My husband is looking after the children. So, let’s take your mind off things.”

Chapter 33

My friends managed to cheer me up, and we spent a lovely evening in my apartment, which made me feel less alone. In the late hours, Amara stayed overnight—and I recharged my energy to get through the next couple of days.

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