Page 59 of Absolution

I’m having a heart attack.

The thought slams into me, and now I’m sweating. My hands won’t stop shaking. I can’t draw a full breath. Everything narrows to the pounding in my chest and the crushing weight on my sternum.

“Sir?”

A soft voice. I barely register the hand on my back.

“Are you alright?”

I glance up. It’s one of the waitresses, barely more than twenty. Her face pales as she sees me.

“Your father asked me to check on you-” she starts, but I cut her off, choking out, “Call someone.”

I press my hand to my chest. “I think… I think I’m-”

She crouches beside me, her voice steady now. “You’re not having a heart attack.”

“I can’t breathe,” I rasp.

“I know. I think it’s a panic attack. You’re safe. I’m right here.”

She takes my hand and holds it firmly. “Just breathe with me. In through your nose. Good. Now out.”

My chest still aches. My limbs feel like rubber. But her voice cuts through the panic, slow and certain.

“Again. In. Hold it. Now out.”

Gradually, the stabbing fades. The air starts to come easier. And when I finally look up, I realize I’m still alive.

Barely.

Then she brushes her fingers over my chest.

I flinch, pushing her hand away. “I’m fine.”

She doesn’t take the hint. Instead she leans closer, perfume thick in the warm air. “Are you sure, sir?”

“How old are you?” I ask, jaw tight.

She straightens. “Twenty-one.”

I lift my hand, show her my ring. “I’m married.”

She doesn’t even blink. “So are most of the men in there.”

I swallow hard. “Then why… how can you do this?”

In one second, the smile drops. Her eyes go cold, flat.

“Is it the fault of the single woman,” she says evenly, “or the married man with his hand on her ass?”

I don’t answer. I can’t.

She watches me for a beat, then adds, “Not everyone is born with a silver spoon, you know. Some of us have to work. To pay bills. To take care of people who depend on us. So, we swallow our pride. And we giggle when some asshole calls usdoll.”

I look away, ashamed.

“Would you like anything else, sir?” she asks, her voice sharper now.

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