Page 103 of Falling Princess

Tell me you love me. Tell me you want a future together. Give mesomeindication of what you want.

Lorcan stood there, silent and stone-faced. His gaze cut away from mine.

“Wait for me, Princess.”

Wait.Disappointment sliced through me. I just told him why I couldn’t.

“I would speak to my father today if I knew what you wanted. But first, I have to know what I’m waiting for. People are already asking him to send you away. The rumors have gotten out of control, and you have to admit that there is...there’s some truth to them. I won’t give him reason to have you hanged.” The words stick in my throat. “I don’t believe he would do that, but as long as there’s a possibility...”

When Lorcan said nothing, my heart cracked a little more. What if winning my affections was nothing more than an ego trip? Is that why he won’t be more direct with Raina? Perhaps he enjoys the attention from two princesses, but doesn’t intend for anything to come of it.

What if that is the real reasonwe can’t?

“I would be patient for you as long as you needed, Knight,” I said as lightly as I could, given the seriousness of our discussion, “as long as you understand that matters are not entirely within my control.”

Goddess knows I’m in no rush to be married. To anyone.

When Lorcan made no reply, I slid off the window ledge. He followed, silently, three paces behind, up to my door. Not one step across the threshold into my private quarters.

* * *

The less said about the Midwinter Ball, the better.

My excitement at Lorcan’s return was tempered by the necessity of treating him as I would any other guard. While I could be permitted to show some degree of friendship in private moments—and outright hostility was unacceptable under all circumstances, not that it’s an issue now—with twenty men vying for my attention, I could not afford to display any hint of favoritism.

Especiallynot toward an upstart commoner.

To traditionalists like my father and many of the noble class, Lorcan is nothing more than a lethally useful curiosity—provided he stays in his place.

I danced with every single suitor. I smiled. I was gracious. Lorcan’s gaze bore into me the entire evening. They would not tolerate my favoring him. The gossip is bad enough.

As my father often reminds me, I cannot afford to sow dissent amongst the aristocracy. Merely choosing could be enough to start a conflict, and we don’t need internal strife in addition to an invasion.

I presume this is why he agreed to let me spend a second year abroad. Punting the rock down the road. But now we can no longer avoid the issue. My fate is coming for me, ready or not.

All of this was on my mind as I sat for my maid to braid my hair into a complicated pattern and dot it with pearl pins. The pearls are a nod to Oceanside’s four high families, three of which sent candidates to compete for my hand this season.

At my neck and wrists were the traditional heavy jewelry of the royal crown. At my waist, a dragonskin belt of woven blue, red, gold, and green hides. Botanical motifs representing grains—and, not so subtly, fertility—for the Grasslands district, are embroidered along the edges of my white gown. Spidersilk for Central Auralia. White fur from a fox hunted in the Timberlands. Gemstones mined by The Mountain Folk. I am a walking, dancing, symbol.

It’s hideously overdone.

Kenton was the most familiar face amongst my prospective suitors, though it took him a few songs to request a dance. When we were on the floor and our chances of being overheard minimal, I took a deep breath and asked, “Might I suggest we put an end to the speculation and announce our betrothal?”

CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE

“Ifeel for you, Princess. I do. I’m afraid I must decline.”

I’d be lying if I said Kenton’s instant refusal didn’t sting. It wouldn’t be a love match but at least there’s a baseline of friendship to work from. I don’t have that with any of the other men.

“Am I so repugnant to you?”

There’s also the lowering experience of asking someone to marry me, and being refused. Contrary to my father’s expectations, there are men who would turn me down.

“Scarlett would object to a permanent commitment to someone other than her,” Kenton explained, gently.

“Even if it was only a symbolic union?”

Infidelity is frowned upon, but it’s not as though it never happens. Scarlett is obsessed with all things Auralian; she might like to live here part of the time. I wouldn’t mind if Kenton spent much of his time outside the country living with her. It’s the best plan I’ve been able to come up with. To have it shot down so quickly, without a moment’s consideration, well...ouch.

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