Page 29 of Falling Princess

Potential for the two of you—Did she make the suggestion while unaware that Raina already had a claim to Lorcan’s heart, and now regrets chaining Lorcan and me together because of the friction it’s caused? Again, I’m frustrated that I’ve been left in the dark on these matters. I could have told her. But I’m always playing catch-up.

I wish everyone would stop trying to protect me, for once. I have insights to offer, too.

Or, perhaps, I’m misunderstanding her.Potential for the two of youmight mean something else. She couldn’t possibly have meant in a romantic sense. She, of all people, would know that my father would never permit me to be publicly linked to a commoner, even if I wanted it. Which I don’t.

I am being ridiculous. Partly, I’m relieved because I amnotattracted to Lorcan and even if I were, he’s my best friend’s true love. I’m not such a selfish person that I would ever seek to disrupt that.

The forced proximity and poor communication aren’t doing either of us any favors.

“I’ve made a new friend,” I offered, after a few minutes of awkward silence. “Scarlett. She’s a local.”

“That’s so lovely,” Cata said, with a genuine smile. “You need more friends. Tell me about her.”

I went on at length, sharing every tiny detail, what little I know. I wasn’t above filling in blanks for the sake of a good story. I’m that desperate for friendship.

When Cata dropped me back at campus, an unsmiling Lorcan waited for me outside the dormitory. He opened the car door to let me out. I had to suppress the impulse to turn around, dive back inside, and beg Cata to take me away from here.

You fought to be here,I reminded myself, and forced my legs to carry me into the dorm.

* * *

Saturday morning, I dreamed of tight male buttocks in form-fitting black swim shorts. He’s swimming, churning the water with powerful kicks. There’s a pleasant weight on me, pressing me into the mattress, and then those powerful motions aren’t kicks in the water, but an entirely different motion. The waves are in my abdomen, radiating out and out from places I try not to think much about...

I like it. I don’t want it to stop.

I jerked awake with a groan.

You did not just have a sex dream about your appointed knight.

No. No way. Uh-uh. This is no way to start the day.

I have got to find a way to lose my virginity before I do something appallingly stupid. Get it over with. I’d ask Kenton to do it, but he’s hooking up with Lacey, possibly Becca, and seems to be interested in Scarlett. Besides, the whole point of having sex in Scotland is that it won’t be with someone I wind up married to.

Bashir... just nope. I’m not looking to get torn in half. Which leaves no viable options amongst my set of friends.

Raina knocked at my door. “Zosh! Pancakes!”

I pulled the pillow over my head and groaned. “I’m staying in bed. Go on without me.”

I went back to sleep, and mercifully, didn’t dream.

When I finally dragged myself out of bed an hour later, the dorm apartment was empty except for Lorcan, who was sitting at the table, books open, chin on his forearms, reading. He sat up when I approached warily. “Are you feeling better?”

“Fine. I was tired, that’s all.”

“I’m quitting the swim team,” he said, quietly.

Dismay cascaded down my spine. “Why would you do that?”

Blue eyes, unreadable. Expressionless. What does he see when he looks at me? A spoiled princess? A burden? A failure?

The same things I see when I look in a mirror.

After a long silence, he shrugged. “I’m not trying to make you miserable.”

“You’re not,” I lied, because he absolutely is, in every single respect. “I just don’t understand why you won’t go practice and let me sleep in.”

Lorcan slowly closed the textbook. I was so attuned to his movement that the whisper of paper echoed in my ears like a shout. “I swore an oath to protect you.”

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