Page 39 of Falling Princess

Raina threw the paper onto the table and glared at Lorcan, who was, as usual, puttering around in the kitchen.

“Have you considered writing separate papers?”

“What an excellent idea,” I said at the same moment as Lorcan chimed in with, “Too late. We’re already committed.”

It’s almost as if he finds this horrible process entertaining.

Later, from my room, with the document open on my computer, I typed,You’re enjoying this, aren’t you.No question mark. I know he can see it, thanks to the joys of real-time cloud editing. A long time passes before he types a single word.

Yes.

A fist slammed into my midsection. I stared at my screen as though that word was a curse. I breathed, slowly. And then, just as slowly, I closed the lid on my laptop and backed away. I turned out the lights, lay on my bed, and blinked unseeing into the darkness.

When I checked the document again, Lorcan had deleted the exchange.

* * *

“I’m going to do it,” Raina said with determination. When I glanced over from the plants I was watering, she was lying on her stomach with her chin in hand, feet up and crossed at the ankle. Outside the study window is a torrent of snowfall.

“Do what?”

“Ask Lorcan to go out with me.”

“About time.”

Good. Give the man a girlfriend and maybe he’ll stop paying close attention to me.

Envy pinched my innards. I wish I had someone to ask out, too. After an entire term at university, I’ve met exactly one person, Scarlett. Lorcan issuchan albatross.

The horrid joint paper was turned in. I have one more exam to take, in phytology, my favorite class, so I’m not worried about that one. Lorcan is on his own.

Best of all, my presentation proposal had been accepted for the climate summit. Although I had to scale back my original ambitions to a poster, it’s still a way to represent my country on the global stage the way I want to, for once—no pink dresses involved. All I need is final permission from my father to attend. I’ve asked for it as my Midwinter gift. If I receive nothing else, it will be more than enough. Honestly, I don’tneedanything else. All my material needs are met. I covet experiences, not things.

“You think so? Bash thinks I should wait.”

“Bashir has had four girlfriends in as many months. You’re taking dating advice from him, why?”

I placed my little sprouts into a cardboard box, one by one. They’ll spend the winter break at Cata’s house in Edinburgh. Even Cata has seemed tired and a bit careworn. When I asked her about it, she said the short days and lack of sunlight were getting to her. It gets to me, too. The depression that shrouds my joy has cast a deeper shadow, lately. I’m actually looking forward to a few weeks in Auralia, where daylight lingers past mid-afternoon this time of year. I wonder if I can squeeze in a trip to Oceanside, our coastal province.

Auralia is shaped like an elongated, sloping comma. The northern end’s high elevation means we have a temperate microclimate, while the southern end is warmer. It’s a five-day journey to get from the north to the south, and six days back, due to the steep grade.

Raina shrugged at my question.

“He’s had four more girlfriends than I’ve had boyfriends. Of the three of us, that makes him the expert.”

“I suppose that’s right.”

“Kenton thinks Lorcan will never ask me as long as he’s assigned to guard you. He says that if I don’t make the first move nothing will ever happen.”

“I agree with his assessment.”

I should be giddy at the thought of Raina and Lorcan finally hooking up. Perhaps once he experiences the delights of the flesh—assuming he hasn’t already; I suspect he’s as inexperienced as I am, though I have nothing to base this on; he just seems fundamentally innocent—he’ll loosen up, and I can do the same. “When will you do it?”

“He’ll be escorting me home to River Bend. I plan to give him a gift for Midwinter and ask him then.”

I heard the nervousness in Raina’s voice. I wanted to reassure her that it will go smoothly. That he’ll say yes. That it won’t jeopardize a prized, long-standing friendship. But remembering the brief flash of annoyance on Lorcan’s face when she was sleeping on his shoulder, I couldn’t.

My instinct is to tell her not to do it. That it will make things awkward. But how do you tell your best friend that her other best friend’s feelings are platonic when she’s already in love with him?

---