Page 44 of Falling Princess

I can’t be permitted to experience something for once in my life, even if I wasn’t exactly enjoying it.

“Sorry about that,” Scarlett said, all four of her eyes bouncing worriedly between my guard and me. The room swam. “I shouldn’t have left him alone with you.”

“Not your fault,” I insisted, slurring. “Besides, it’s not as though anything much happened.” Then, to Lorcan, who was still holding me by the arm, “Would you please let go of me?”

A slight narrowing of his eyes as he glanced back. No, then.

Even Kenton took Lorcan’s side, which means I will not win this argument. Nothing new, there. “We’ve had enough fun, Zosia. Let’s go home.”

“Fine. I’ll get my coat.”

But Lorcan still refused to let go of me, and sent Scarlett for it instead. The four of us traipsed out into the night. Frosty air slapped my cheeks and stung my ears. At least I felt a bit more sober.

“I’ll walk Scarlett home.” Kenton cast a pensive glance over his shoulder at me as the two of them veered off across the field, as if to sayI’m sorry,orI’m worried about you.

Not worried enough to stick around, though. Smart of him to get out of the blast zone. I’m on the edge of losing it entirely.

I let Lorcan drag me for another few steps before I yanked back hard enough to stop him in his tracks. “Stop it. Just...stopmanhandlingme.”

He stared at me, statue-still, his breath coming in airy puffs of steam that glowed in the lamplight. “I wasn’t.”

Belatedly, he let go.

“Dragging me by the wrist isn’t manhandling?” I laughed bitterly and shook my head. I could hardly focus enough to maintain eye contact. Looking at him is difficult, for reasons I can barely articulate when sober, much less under the influence—so I pushed past him in the direction of our dormitory.

He followed. I expected nothing less, but resentment welled up within me all the same.

What he said next took me off-guard.

“I’m sorry I fucked up your grade.”

I halted mid-stride and glanced back at him over my shoulder. His use of a curse word was that startling. “No, you aren’t.”

“I didn’t mean to. I just wanted you to see the merits of your own country. The one you’ll be queen of, someday.” There’s a note of desperation in his voice. A plea for understanding—one I’m in no mood to acknowledge.

“And you, Knight, fancied yourself the appropriate person to teach Auralia’s High Priestess a lesson?”

I’m so furious with him that I can hardly contain it all. I slammed the button in the elevator before he could get in. It’s the pettiest thing I’ve ever done in my life, shutting him out like that, and the weight of my failures grew crushingly heavier with each rising floor.

Worse, he was right there waiting for me at the top. Stone-faced and immovable. I didn’t apologize. I brushed past him and into the dormitory, ignoring Bashir and Raina who were curled up on opposite sides of the couch watching TV and eating ice cream, and slammed the door to my room.

It’s almost one in the morning, but Cata picked up on the first ring, sounding worried. “What’s going on, my flower?”

“Can you come get me? Right now?” I’m enraged, but I forced myself to sound calm. The worse my internal turmoil, the more controlled I am on the outside. It’s a neat trick; if only it didn’t make me feel like I will physically shatter at any moment.

“Why?”

Keys rattled in the background. I sagged with relief.

“I’m dropping out of school.” I threw clothes into my bag. “I need a place to stay for a few days while I work up the courage to tell my father. Please, I’m begging you, don’t tell him. I’ll do it. I just need to figure out what to say.”

“I’m on my way right now,” she promised. There was an edge to her tone like the sharpest steel. It’s moments like this where I wish I could weep with gratitude. What would I do without Cata? She’s the only person in the world who loves me without question.

Although, after tonight, I’m not sure I deserve it.

SMOKE

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

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