Page 63 of Falling Princess

“They are,” Lorcan tilted his chair back on its legs again.

How does hedothat? Eidetic memory? That would explain a lot, actually. His ability to skate through with minimal effort spent studying, for example.

We ought to be preserving Auralia’s rare old manuscripts and books. I filed away that thought for later, folded my hands flat on the surface of the table and tried to ignore the fact that my cheeks were burning. I can’t read this without feeling like it’s personal. I know it’s not, but I still find it deeply embarrassing.

I’m not a goddess. I’m just an eighteen-year-old girl with a fancy title who wants to live a little.

“You actually believe this stuff, don’t you?”

I didn’t mean to sound incredulous, but couldn’t keep it out of my voice. That Lorcan, of all people, should take seriously the old legends of Auralia’s founding is so...socharming. He’s atrained assassin, taught to kill on my behalf without remorse. I’ve seen him do it. Utterly cold-blooded.

Yet he really is a wonderful ambassador for Auralian culture. Far better than I am. We should stick him in a dress and heels and send him out to press events. He’d be much more effective than I am.

His gaze slid away from mine, and that sweet tinge of pink crept over his cheeks. It’s ridiculous that a killer blushes when he gets flustered. I love it. I propped my chin in my hand, and waited. Silence. Well. That’s nothing unusual, where Lorcan is concerned.

“It’s cute.” I can’t hide my smile, which only deepens his embarrassment. I’m not trying to make him feel bad.

If I didn’t know he was an assassin, I could easily believe he’s just another awkward, quiet young man with a cheeky sense of humor.

Cata was right: heisfull of surprises. Most surprising of all is that he’s a genuinely nice person. The murder business doesn’t appear to bother him, or change his fundamental nature.

CHAPTERTWENTY

“You’re the High Priestess of Auralia,” Lorcan said after a beat. “How can you not believe in Her?”

I leaned against the hard chair back and crossed my arms. “I am a scientist.” Aspire to become one, anyway. Glasgow dented my confidence. “Phenomena can either be reliably documented and therefore explained, or they do not exist.”

“You seem very certain about that, Princess.”

“Knight.” His gaze jerked up to meet mine. “I’m not arrogant enough to believe I am the literal descendant of a goddess.”

“But you are arrogant enough to deny Her existence.”

This is a lot less charming. I discarded several comebacks before I decided it’s pointless to argue. This is a recap of our argument last term, in more pointed, personal terms. We’re no closer to alignment now. He believes in Auralia’s official religion, and it’s not my place to convince him otherwise.

“I have spent more time in devotions than any other Auralian alive, so you can’t say I don’t give the goddess proper respect. I have yet to feel anything other than a profound sense of boredom and an ache in my knees during prayer. I promise you, if I ever see evidence of Auralia’s existence, I’ll believe in Her.”

He hesitated, as though he wanted to argue further, but thought better of it. “Fair enough.”

“Shall we tackle the comparative politics exam materials next?”

“Sure,” he agreed quickly, and we returned to our precarious balance between friendship and servant, students trapped between outdated customs and modern thinking. I glanced over at him as often as I dared to, whenever I thought he wasn’t looking. We’ve been playing this game, off and on, ever since the weekend at Cata’s.

“Are you going to the end-of-year dance?” I blurted out, because I am, apparently, an idiot.Great golden goddesses, not about that,I groaned inwardly. It sounds as though I’m asking him, which I’m not—I know he would take Raina if he were to go with anyone. Which he can’t. Because of me.

“Not if you aren’t,” Lorcan replied absently, erasing a stray pencil mark from his notebook. He froze. “I mean—I didn’t mean it like that.”

Too bad, for me.I ignored the butterflies swarming in my stomach. It’s inconvenient at best, a disaster at worst. I can’t think of him that way. It’s not allowed, by my father and by Raina and by my own conscience. So, I won’t.

I’m indebted to him. Indebted does not in any way describe how my feelings have changed since then, but it’s the safest description I can think of.

“I know what you meant,” I said. He’s glued to me, so he can’t go if I don’t. “I hadn’t planned to, but if you want to go, I promise I’ll go stay with Cata. It will be safe. Besides, you deserve an evening off.”

His eyes were shifting shades of blue like summer skies before a storm. “Why don’t you want to go?”

“No date.” I lift one shoulder and let it fall. “After the attack and my debacle of a first kiss, I think...I don’t exactly trust my instincts. I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking anyone outside our friend group, and it would be too awkward to ask any of our suitemates. Besides, it’s only a dance. I’ve been to many like it, and will attend many more in my formal capacity as Princess of Auralia.”

“This will be different from the ones you’re used to,” he said after a long pause.

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