Page 83 of Falling Princess

He squeezed once, lightly, and extracted his hand from mine. I closed my eyes in mute horror at my lack of self-control. “Sorry. Startled.”

Without looking at me, he mumbled, “’S all right.”

Yeah. That was awkward.

“I’ll be in my cabin.”

I grabbed my book and scooted across the bench seat. I didn’t look at him directly for the rest of the trip.

* * *

I was delighted to discover that I had no trouble with sea sickness.

Cata, however, was another story. For four miserable days, she constantly vomited, until her skin acquired a waxy, greenish hue and I started to worry for real.

“I’ve never seen you ill like this,” I told her.

“I’ve neverbeenill like this,” Cata moaned. “I can’t seem to adjust.”

Raina offered her a tisane to combat motion sickness. Bewilderingly, Cata declined.

“I don’t like to be incapacitated.” She moaned.

“You look pretty incapacitated to me,” I said, skeptically.

“It won’t hurt you, Cata,” Raina insisted. Still, she refused.

We arrived in India, and promptly boarded a charter plane to Paris. One connecting flight later, we landed at Edinburgh Airport, weary and pleased to flop tiredly at our familiar, dumpy, dormitory suite. We completed the move-in process and collectively fell into a less acrimonious version of the same habits we’d adopted the previous year.

I framed the sketch of mossy frogs and placed it on my desk. In class, Lorcan resumed his habit of taking the seat directly behind me. I kept my eyes and my hands to myself.

My thoughts weren’t so obedient.

Swim team picked up again. I drank my tea and didn’t complain about the early wake-up call. I did my level best not to look when Lorcan was getting in and out of the pool. He trusted me enough not to run off, now, and started using the locker room to change, which helped.

He no longer came to our first morning class smelling of chlorine, which I missed.

A small part of me whispered that I should do a runner just to get him to change at the base of the bleachers again. I ordered that part of me to sod off.

We both acted as though the summer trip had never happened.

Raina’s crush continued, unabated. She confided that she hadn’t summoned the nerve to kiss Lorcan over the break, and I was thoroughly disgusted with myself at how pleased I was, hearing it. She seemed increasingly resigned to the idea that he would never return her feelings. As though ignoring her would-be betrothal gift weren’t enough of an indicator.

“Are you mad at me?” Lorcan finally asked me one day in early October. “You’ve been acting weird ever since we came back to school.”

My face heated. What was I supposed to say? Our mutual best friend is in love with you, and I think I might be, too, but I can’t say anything because you could be killed for it if I did?

“I’m not angry with you. I’m trying to preserve the peace, that’s all.” I nodded to Raina’s closed door.

He frowned.

“She likes you,” I blurted out.Shit.Raina won’t thank me for saying that.

“I know.” Lorcan’s frown deepened. “I don’t know what to do about it. She’s practically my only friend.”

“You have me,” I told him, too brightly. But it isn’t true. Whatever accord we have arrived at, the basic fact remains that he works for my father. We’re not friends in any real sense.

“I do.” He didn’t smile. He seemed unusually perturbed. “I can’t deal with Raina right now. There’s too much going on back home.”

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