Page 25 of River & Crown
"I'm fine."
"Hmm." He nodded, scratching along his beard.
While most men liked their beards to extend out from their faces, Crown kept his cut low, and I loved it. I replaced his fingers with mine, running them along both sides of his face.
"That shit feels good."
I giggled and continued until the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Before letting me walk off, Crown pulled me into him, kissing me deeply, speaking without words what we both knew to be true. He pecked my lips once more, then reached his arm out to keep the door from closing. I walked off, feeling defeated and confused. My body literally felt all the feels whenever I was with Crown and even when I wasn't. Any time a man tried to talk to me, I flashed my ring, stopping them before they got started. On the inside, all the makings of a woman falling in love were there, but that's where my heart kept them. It refused to fully give itself to another because my heart belonged to the dead.
Turning the corner toward my apartment, I looked behind me at Crown. It was unlike him not to hold my waist as we walked toward my apartment. Hell, it was unlike us not to be touching at all. Neither of us could go a few minutes without being skin-to-skin in some way. However, the somber look on his handsome face said a lot. Crown was hurt by my lack of words or giving me the space he knew I needed. I sighed, wondering if I should let Crown go so he could be happy with someone else. Hurting him was the last thing I wanted to do. More than anything, I wanted to give in to what I felt for him. Like a caged bird, I fluttered around my feelings in hopes of one day setting them free.
Sincere was dead. I watched his body lower into the ground, so I knew he wasn't coming back. Moving on from the greatest love I've known seemed impossible and unfair. Why did I deserve to move on when he couldn't? This was why I switched niggas out every six months. Once the honeymoon phase settledin relationships, feelings and talks about the future were the next step. Crown spoke about our future since we've met, but it was different now.
"Did you think about what you want to eat?" he asked as I stuck the key into the lock.
"Sushi sounds good. I know you only like the mango rolls that never fill you up. Maybe we can order sushi and wing?—"
I stepped inside my apartment, and the romantic ambiance stole my words, replacing them with tears.
Balloons and streamers in the prettiest shades of blue and ivory cascaded from the ceiling. Tea light candles were scattered throughout, their flickering flames casting a soft, amber glow against the walls and furniture. My heart hiccupped as Crown gently nudged me further inside, bringing me within arm's reach of the centerpiece that left me in awe. In the center of my living room stood a stunning, four-foot-tall, heart-shaped floral arrangement. The flowers were all different shades of blue, reminiscent of the ocean just before sunset. The petals were soft and smelled amazing. A few of the darker petals stood out the most. They were arranged in a way that was meant to convey a message. I took a few steps back and started boo-hoo crying, realizing what the navy-colored petals spelled out:C+F
Feeling Crown's arms wrap around me brought on more tears. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his beard tickling me as he laughed.
"It's not funny," I sniffled.
"It is. Who would've thought you were a crybaby?"
Turning in his arms, I faced him and did my best to keep a straight face. "I'm not a crybaby!"
Crown pinched my chin, and that was all it took for the tears to start up again.
"You're my crybaby." Pecking my lips, Crown licked away my tears as I laughed uncontrollably, begging him to stop.
"Ight, I'm done." He chortled.
"I can't believe you did this for me."
"It's our anniversary."
"Yeah, but it's only been six months."
"The best six months of my fucking life," he proudly boasted.
"How do you know?" I teased.
"'Cause I captured our moments together without you realizing."
"Huh?"
"Pick up the balloons on the floor." He smirked.
I was so caught up in everything else that I never once looked at the balloons all over my living room. I picked up one closest to my foot and turned it over to see a picture of me sleeping in the bed with my bridesmaid dress thrown across the foot of the bed, taped to it.
"You were knocked out that night. I watched you sleep for like two hours before I snapped this picture."
"Why were you watching me sleep?"
"Honestly, I had to make sure your ass ain't try to run away."
