Page 9 of River & Crown
Ignoring him, I hopped out of the car and did a light jog toward my house. Those tears I fought back had finally broken through. Sincere, called my name, voice raw and scratchy, drenched in confusion at my sudden need to be away from him. Soon enough, it faded in the distance, taking my heart along with it.
The sun retired from its shift, leaving the moon to cast its eerie glow through my window. Hours' worth of tears ashed my cheeks while snot crusted at the rim of my nostrils. I was a mess. A sad mess who knew the only cure for the emptiness was Sincere. Sitting up in my bed, I brought my knees to my chest and then grabbed my phone from the nightstand. I swiped upward on the lock screen so all of my notifications were showing. I simpered, then bit into my bottom lip.
Sincere:
BB, hit my phone and let me know you good.
I fucked up. I get that. I apologize.
Tell me what I gotta do to make shit, right?
Fuck BB, I'm going crazy not hearin' from you.
BB... man, you gon' make me pull up to the crib, and you know yo momma don't play that shit.
Ight I get it. You need space. I'ma hit Chosyn and see where she's at. You shouldn't be alone right now. I love you, girl. Always my BB.
With each message I read, my heart pounded louder and louder, as if he were speaking directly to the vessel. Shaking my head, I dropped my phone on the bed and then pulled the covers over my head. Digging my nails into the blanket, I allowed whatever was bubbling in my stomach to erupt. A scream filled with mixed emotions shot from my lips, leaving me breathless. I closed my eyes, and with my nails still plunged into the blanket, I inhaled so deeply that my shoulders rose toward my ears. I heldthe uncomfortable breath, counting from one to ten and then ten to one.
"River, are you okay?"
By the time I exhaled and opened my eyes, Chosyn stood at the foot of my bed.
"I'm—"
"Sincere said you needed me. I would have come sooner, but King was on bullshit. What happened?"
"Sincere said he wanted to go for a ride. I didn't think much of us getting into an old ass Toyota. The car was actually the one he taught me how to drive in. I figured maybe he was trying to be romantic by recreating a moment we shared. He had me drive out to the Grove. I hit a right and slowed down like he asked. Next thing I know, Sincere reaches behind him, grabs a gun, and sprays the block. Two people were standing outside of a building and?—"
I couldn't explain without the guilt of what happened weighing heavily on my heart.
"What the fuck, River? Are they okay? Did?—"
"I don't fucking know, Chosyn, and that's what has me so fucked up."
"Niggas ain't shit. I thought Sincere was one of the good ones."
"He is," I defended without thinking.
"Really? Is the dick that good?" Chosyn scoffed.
"Why does it have to be the dick tho? Sincere has never done fuck shit involving me."
"Until now! Until fucking now, River!" she spat, snatching the blanket from my body.
"What the fuck, Chosyn?"
"They don't have soft, fluffy blankets in prison, and that's exactly where you might end up."
"I know."
"If you did, defending Sincere wouldn't be on your mind."
"I love him, Chosyn," I sobbed. The overwhelming truth swept over me, snatching my common sense and replacing it with stupidity.
"I know. I believe Sincere loves you too, but what he has going on, you have no business being around it."
"Yeah, but you sell weed and help King."
