Page 27 of Big Rucking Disaster

“Of course.” He was quick to speak. “You can talk to me about anything.”

Slowly, I withdrew the worn photo envelope from my pocket and handed it over.

And held my breath.

He withdrew a little strip of black-and-white images. His gaze flew to mine. “Carly?”

“What? Oh God, no.” Panic seized me. “No, Carly’s not pregnant.”Thank Christ.

Yardley continued to hold the photos—so damn gently. “I’ve seen four of these. One for each of Jamilla’s boys, of course. And one of the girl who…” He blinked. “She didn’t have a properly formed brain and wouldn’t have lived. That termination…” He blinked again. “That nearly broke Jamilla. Hell, Reuben and I were right there in the suffering. But she found the courage to do what she had to do. Two more first-trimester miscarriages, and then she had Meyer. My sister…” He blew out a breath. “She’s got so much fucking love to give. They’re good with their three now, I think. Well, Reuben’s been snipped.”

I winced. Even as I continued to fixate over huge hands gently holding the picture of my daughter. “Anwa miscarried a month after that ultrasound.”

“Aw, shit.”

“The pregnancy was an accident. She was on the pill and was diligent about it. Best she figured, the antibiotics she took for a bout of strep throat might’ve made them less effective. Anyway, she got pregnant, and I planned on marrying her.”

“Oh.” Yardley’s gaze shot to mine. “You loved her?”

“Sure.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Not everyone who’s pregnant has to get married.”

“My baby. No way was she going to be raised in a single-parent household. I cared for Anwa, and wanted…” I swallowed hard. “We hadn’t settled on a name. I wanted to, but Anwa was more…cautious. Then she miscarried and said that was how things were meant to be. But she was at fourteen weeks, so we’d started to tell people.” I rubbed my face. “I was so damn excited, and then…she dumped me. Took the miscarriage as a sign we weren’t meant to be together. Returned the ring I’d given her and asked me to lose her number.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, just about. Something…” I blinked rapidly. “I think something broke inside me. Carly approached me a couple of weeks later. I…” I rubbed my face. “I told everyone I was relieved at not being a father, and then I started dating someone who…” I sighed. “Well, Carly’s nothing like Anwa. In fact, Anwa was the one who was not like the others. She was a PhD student in biochemistry at UBC. Was a research assistant on some big project. We met accidentally, hit it off, and I kind of thought it was fate when she got pregnant. I think we could’ve made a life together.” I gestured for him to hand me the photo back.

He slowly tucked it into the envelope and with gentleness, pushed it back across the table.

When I reached for it, he placed his hand over mine.

My gaze shot to his.

His eyes were a little misty—much like mine. “Thank you for sharing that with me. That couldn’t have been easy.”

I sniffed. “Even Isaiah and Roger don’t know the whole story. I couldn’t—” I blew out a shaky breath. “—I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Perhaps.” He offered a soft smile. “Or maybe you’re not that guy anymore. Maybe dating Anwa, and losing the baby, helpedyou grow up. Carly was part of your old persona—and so, at first, she felt comfortable. But you’ve outgrown that life. It doesn’t fit anymore. Clearly, that came to a head tonight.”

“She didn’t take it well.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. She said she expected you to propose soon.”

“Oh fuck.” I sipped the whisky, enjoying the burn. I’d hopped a bus, so if I got shit-faced, I didn’t care. Jacks was open late on Friday nights.

“Well, clearly you did the right thing by ending it.” Yardley offered what I’d term a sympathetic smile. “Not that there’s ever a good time.”

“Yeah.”

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, but I ignored it.

Then it buzzed six more times in succession.

“I apologize.” I pulled it out of my pocket and checked the notification screen.

And groaned.

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