Page 35 of Big Rucking Disaster

“I’m very conscientious about protection. That’s important.”

“If you say so.” He hung a left back onto Hastings Street.

“I do say. You’re a gay man—how can you not be conscientious about protection?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t. But I’ll admit I don’t pack condoms with me all the time. Actually, it's good you brought them because I don't think I have any in my house, and if you decide to bring a hookup back to my house, I'd like to think you're being safe.” Slowly, he drove through the intersection at Abbott Street.

Although people wandered up and down the street, no one stepped in front of us.How many of these people are addicts? How can they fall that far? How am I any different from them?I didn’t do hard drugs. In the offseason I might do a hit of pot. But no one here grew up sayingI’m going to be a drug addict.

“Nothing to say?” Yardley chuckled. “I haven’t even asked if you’re on a hookup site.”

“I’ve barely booted Carly from my bed, and she’s in full revenge mode. You honestly think I’d just hop into bed with someone else?”

“Wouldn’t you? That’s your reputation.”

I would hop into your bed if you asked.

My brain screeched like a needle skidding across a record.

What the actual fuck? You’re not gay. You’ve never thought of a guy that way before.

True.

But I’ve been thinking of Yardley that way. Wondering what it would be like to be…with him.

I took a breath. “No, reputations aren’t always reality. I’m not going to have sex with someone a few hours after I broke up with the last person.”

“Glad to hear it.” He turned onto Québec Street. “I’m planning to crash—it’s been a long day.”

“Thank you for coming to my game.”

He cut me a look.

“Thank you for putting up with Carly.”

He snorted.

“Thank you for not making me be alone tonight.”

“You only had to ask, Johnnie.” He cocked his head. “Which you basically did, so here I am. Are you going to be okay?” He drove past Science World.

“I’m always okay.”

He sighed. “That’s a flippant answer. We both know when things didn’t work out with Anwa that you weren’tokay. You’ve been with Carly for a while. Breaking up has to have an impact.”

“Yeah…relief and joy. I was with her for six months. That was five months and twenty-nine days too long.” I angled my head, so it pressed back against the headrest. “I knew better. But it felt like everyone else was paired up, and I wasn’t, and I wanted what they had.”

“Was Makwa single?”

“Yep. And now he’s seeing Louella.”Shit. I probably wasn’t supposed to say anything. Especially to Yardley.

“Well, if it’s what Louella wants, I’m happy for them. Not a couple I would’ve seen coming in a million years.”

“What if I’d asked Louella out?”

He cut a sharp glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You wanted to?”

“Nope. Lovely woman, truly, but not for me.”

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