Page 32 of Rules of Association

“Trust me, I’m not playing coy,” I grumbled, trying to double back.

“Ceci!” She laughed again, but her face was starting to turn concerned. “Come on. This is so exciting for me, having you here! I wanted to show you the window I designed.”

I stopped struggling, lifting my eyes to the large window display above us. “You designed the window?”

“She sure did!” A chipper voice sounded from the door of the shop. I winced at the prospect of seeing that man again but was surprised to see someone completely different taking up the doorway. “Can I get you girls a cool drink out of the sun by chance? Looks like the June heat has come a little early this year.”

“Hmm,” I said, looking up to the tall man with tree trunk limbs and grizzly height. He was almost as big as Connor, only this guy was had pale skin, blonde hair, ocean colored eyes, and he looked to be in his fifties or sixties. He had calm, gentle eyes and a warm wide smile. Somehow, I immediately knew this was Paulo’s husband.

“Where’s Paulo?” I asked, my eyes bouncing behind the big man to peek into the shop. Even though I’d only been there once, it already felt strange without Paulo around. Like the shop was missing its soul.

“Pau has the day off. I handle more of the business side of things. He doesn’t really understand the appeal to marketing and revenue strategy is an urban myth in his eyes. He’s only got eyes for the wine,” he said.

“It was your idea to deliver the wine boxes, then?” I asked, only prickling a little bit as I remembered the moped excursion.

“It was your sister’s idea, actually. Mr. Fernandez is just the one who proposed it to Pau and I with a plan. I just had to convince Paulo it was a good idea. He can be a little onerous sometimes about his wine,” he said.

I scoffed, because that was an understatement, but my attention fluttered back to my sister. She’d given up her nervous chirping once Victor and I shook hands and was now sitting there with a resting smile on her face as she surveyed the shop and the window, while keeping one eye on the conversation.

When she noticed me looking at her, she took a step forward and touched a gentle hand to my shoulder as she slid up to my side. “Ready?”

I just nodded, thrown by the realization of how far behind I really was.

Work here was slightly better than work with the other vendors. Instead of all the picture taking and tedious product staging that took up all the time with the last businesses, my sister and Paulo’s husband worked through marketing strategy options, growth strategies, and other business.

Since I wasn’t really needed there with the two of them, I basically just sat and listened. I tried to busy myself by doing some of the menial tasks I’d learned with Pau the other day. Stuff I knew I couldn’t mess up. But all the while I listened, for the most part it was all just muted white noise compared to the increasing volume of my own thoughts.

“Do not think too hard, Ant Girl, or your brain will begin to pain.” The voice sounded from behind my shoulder, which freaked the fuck out of me because I thought the only other people in the store were sitting right there in front of me.

I jolted forward at the sound of the new voice, starting to the side as a long skinny arm whipped around me and swiped the little price stamper out of my hand. I had been using it to stamp the ridiculous brown paper tags Paulo wanted to tie onto each bottle while my sister talked with Victor about brand management.

Jerking my head over my shoulder, I cringed at the sight of the man himself. “Could you be any creepier?”

“I am notcreepy, I do not understand this accusation. Pssh.” He waved a hand. “Whatever, what are you doing back in my store?”

“I came with my sister this time.”

“You are related to that one too?” he asked

“That’s kind of how siblings work.”

“Of course, I get it—it’s just,” he paused, looking over at Al. “It is just hard to believe, no? You are not like them. Not even a little.”

Well, that stung like a motherfucker.

Sure, I wasjustmulling over the same thing, but it was sort of gut-wrenching to have it pointed out by someone else. Someone who didn’t even know us. But apparently it was that obvious. I was a wanderer, while they were trailblazers.Got it.

For a second, a tiny fleeting moment in time, it felt like there was no air left in the universe. Like all the bad things I’d ever imagined about myself were true. Like I should just stop trying to be something I wasn’t, stop trying to be anything at all. But then the second passed and I could breathe again, and instead of breaking down or getting angry or even becoming too curious about what I was just feeling, I balled up the way that tiny little sentence could make me feel such huge things and I swallowed it. Tucking it away for a time when I was ready to examine it further. Which really meant shutting it away forever.

Instead of asking him why, I turned my face up to look at him and gave him a not so genuine smile. “I like your husband much better than I like you.”

“Yes well, I like your sister more.”

“I’m pretty used to that.” I turned back to my work on the stamps, having swiped the stamper back from him while he wasn’t watching.

“You seem like you have a question, Ant.”

“I’m sorry, did I ask something…” My voice came out clipped and it wasn’t like I was trying to sound like a bitch, it just sort of came naturally to me.

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