Page 46 of Rules of Association

Tiney:Connor, you know we’re only kidding, right? We think it’s great you found a girl you’re finally letting in! I worry about you, so I’m glad you’re finding some happiness.

Tiney:Also, if I WERE to give you some dating advice, I would tell you that with the right girl, it doesn’t matter what you are, as long as what you are is right for her. Love you! Be good!

Me:Thanks Tine.

Locking my phone again, I looked at the girl who was now kneeling right under me. Knees on the cushions and elbows resting on the back, she rested her chin in her hands like she was bored. When I reached her I poked her forehead.

“Hungry?”

“We just came from dinner,” she scoffed.

I scoffed right back. “You didn’t take a goddamn bite. Here.” Rotating my phone around I handed it to her. “Order something, I’ll make you a drink.”

“Ooo! What did I do to deserve this?” She perked up, taking my phone in hand. Turning, she plopped her butt down on the cushions and immediately started searching our favorite take out menus. At the same time I moved into the kitchen and started pulling down ingredients for a drink to mix while trying to not answer her question in the weirdest way possible.

Because what my brain wanted me to say was,‘you exist’or‘you came back’or‘you smile at me every single day and I fucking like that shit’. But that all sounded weird considering the strange feelings I was suddenly having whenever I looked at her.

In the end what came out was, “You answered to someone other than yourself for an entire week and don’t have a mugshot. I’m beyond impressed.”

She laughed. One of her loud, unpretty, carefree Ceci laughs that was almost akin to a maniacal cackle. I loved that laugh. It was her real laugh. The one that ripped free when she wasn’t apprehensive or on the offensive. When she was comfortable. She’d been showing me this laugh since we first met.

The thought filled me up and calmed me down.

She was here, and she wasn’t going anywhere. She had put on my clothes like they were pajamas and turned on our favorite medical drama and as she unlocked my phone I could hear her chirping, “I’m getting sushi. I’ll order what you like”.

This was all normal. We were still okay.

She was here, and nothing was changing between us. Not yet anyway.

Whether that was good or bad was yet to be seen.

Chapter Eleven

CECI

Connor had a girlfriend. I had a job. Things were pretty weird.

Okay, one thing at a time, right? The big one then.

Connor had a girlfriend.

A fucking girlfriend!

How did I know? That night after the race—after Con stopped acting so weird—I saw a text on his phone. I wasn’t looking for messages or anything, but as I opened up a food delivery app a message came through on the top of the screen.

Tiney:And thanks again for standing up for Ceci earlier. She wasn’t acting like herself.

I only opened it up with the intention of replying something ridiculous, but instead I got a glimpse of their previous conversation. And that’s how I found out that Connor was seeing a girl. A girlfriend! What?

I didn’t do any snooping after that. Just closed out his messages and ordered us food like I originally intended. But in the back of my mind, that message lived.

Con had agirlfriend. How did I feel about that?

I wondered what she looked like. Probably tall. Lean too. Connor kept himself in really good shape, he probably liked girls who did the same. She probably had undeniable beauty—like I’m talking supermodel beautiful to be with him. Nothing like me…

Had he told her about me? No, why would he? That didn’t make any sense, he didn’t tell anyone about me. If this girl was important to him though,shouldn’the tell her about me? Something else that was important to him.

Would I still be important to him when they started getting more serious?

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