Page 119 of Burn Bag

“Playing? I was in bed with Sarah last night and the fucker pounced when I was trying to?—”

He clamped his lips shut, refusing to say more.

“When you were trying to what?”

Gritting his teeth, he rocked back on his heels. Obviously, whatever it was, he didn’t want to say it out loud. “Look, the point is, we were being intimate, and the cat made a game out of it.”

“And?”

“And I swatted him off the bed and now I’m an asshole.”

“Well, how hard did you swat it?”

He shrugged noncommittally, looking away from me. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“And now she’s pissed at you.”

“She took it to the vet. Apparently, it has a bruised lung. You should have seen the look she gave me. You’d have thought I murdered the cat!”

I pulled Tigger from around my neck, holding him a little closer. With Eli’s temper the way it was, I didn’t want him within ten feet of my baby. “It does seem like a bit of an overreaction.”

“Hey, that thing dug its claws into me. I was defending myself! That little fucker is lucky he’s still alive!”

I really tried not to laugh, but he was so worked up over this cat interfering with his love life. Then again, I’d been the same way when the cat attacked my balls.

“They’re just playing. They don’t get that you’re…getting it on.”

“Well, they should understand it. They’re mammals. They fuck, too.”

“Sure,” I nodded, trying to hold back my laughter. “Except, Sarah had yours fixed. I doubt he’s thinking about sex.”

“He should be. And what’s with us castrating them, anyway? That should be illegal.”

“Well, the general consensus is you do it so you don’t have a new litter of kittens every time you turn around.”

“It’s just not right. How would you feel if someone snipped you?”

“You forget that a cat nearly snipped me. And no, it was not pleasant.”

“Yet, you’re standing here with a cat wrapped around you. You fucking disgust me.”

“I’m really sorry about that. Maybe you should take it up with Fox. He had a whole cat army in mind. Maybe he’d take your cat as a test subject.”

His face lit with excitement. “Do you think he would?”

“Yes, he would. And no, I do not think you should start a cat army with Fox. Seriously, just give the kitten time to adjust.”

“Time to adjust? What about me?” he snapped. “When do I get time to adjust?”

Daphne’s footsteps alerted me to her incoming presence, and I shot Eli a scowl, letting him know that under no circumstances was he allowed to bitch about the cat.

Bouncing up to us without a care in the world, Daphne shot my teammate a huge grin. “Hey, Eli! How’s the precious baby doing?”

He glared at me, clenching his jaw as he bit back what he really wanted to say. Finally, after an uncomfortable silence, he turned to Daphne and smiled. “Wonderful. The cat is a fucking peach.”

I stomped on his foot, not that Daphne noticed. All she heard was that the cat was a peach and she was satisfied.

“That’s great! I had a feeling about that one. He’s just so lovable and fluffy. Don’t you think?”

---