Page 123 of Burn Bag

There was finally peace and quiet, and I was going to soak it up.

The cat rubbed against my leg like he always did when he followed me into the bathroom, but I could handle him. He didn’t talk to me when I was trying to take a shit.

Maybe I needed to become an old cat man instead of having a wife. Had I gotten this all wrong?

29

DAPHNE

I heldmy breath as he raced up the stairs and slammed the door behind him. I sank against the counter, blowing out a harsh breath as my forehead thunked against the hard top.

“That was so close,” Harper laughed.

“No kidding. Did you see his face when I started talking about the squirrel? I thought for sure we were sunk.”

“I have to give it to you, I don’t think I’ve ever met a single person who could bullshit as good as you.”

“Well, I’ve had years of practice,” I chuckled. “Now, where’s Simon? Did you see him?”

She shook her head. “Not after he escaped the downstairs bathroom.”

“Well, we’d better find him fast before Bradley gets out of the bathroom.”

She waved me off, heading into the living room. “Don’t worry about that. After that story, he’ll be gone at least forty-five minutes.”

I scurried around the house, calling for Simon and looking everywhere I could possibly think, but he was nowhere to be seen. After a good ten minutes passed, I started to get worried that Simon had escaped or?—

“What the fuck!”

My head snapped up in horror at the sound of the terrified male scream coming from upstairs. Panic ripped through me as my gaze met Harper’s equally horrified one.

I didn’t waste a second rushing upstairs as the screams continued, but when I got to the bedroom door, I couldn’t get in. It sounded like Bradley was being murdered in there, and I had no way of getting to him.

I slammed my shoulder into the door, banging on it with my fist, but to no avail. “What do we do?” I shouted.

“I have no idea!” Harper screamed, banging on the door with her palm.

“Call someone! We need help now!”

I continued to bang on the door, but nothing helped. “Oh God. My husband is in there with a boa constrictor!”

“Let’s hope he doesn’t kill it,” Harper said as she quickly called someone.

I plugged one ear to drown out the screaming as Harper yelled at someone on the phone, telling them to get their asses to my house.

Terror unlike anything I’d felt before shook me to the very core. If he died, it was all my fault. “They’re not poisonous,” I reminded myself. “He’s probably just scared.” I spun to face Harper. “We were in the car with the snake the whole time and nothing happened!”

“Somehow, I doubt he’ll see things our way if he lives through this!” Harper said, renewing her efforts to break down the door.

Luckily, as we were shouting and losing our shit, boots pounded on the stairs as two hulking men raced to get to us. I stepped aside, pointing at the door.

“Break it down!”

Edu planted his boot right next to the handle and the door burst open, splintering at the frame. I rushed inside as screams rattled through the house from the inside of my bathroom.

“What the fuck is in there?” Edu shouted, rushing to the door. He tried the handle, then repeated the process of booting in the door.

FNG rushed through behind Edu, both of them stopping as soon as they entered.

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