Page 138 of Burn Bag

“Isla…taking away her options. The whole relationship going up in flames…that was all due to your overprotective nature and your inability to discuss important issues with her.”

I knew that. I didn’t need them to bring me in here and discuss this with me like I was a toddler. I fucked up way too often with Isla. But Daphne was not Isla, and I would not screw up the one good thing I had in my life. I just couldn’t allow it.

But how could I let her go?

“This marriage hasn’t exactly been the best experiment,” I chuckled. “Nothing went as planned.”

“Nothing ever does,” Eli retorted.

I raised my eyes to look at him, feeling my heart shredding as I thought about what I had to do. “That doesn’t mean it’s not the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Then don’t do something that will ruin it.”

“You could always go with her,” Rae suggested. “Granted, it would be a long trip, and you’d be leaving at a pretty fucking bad time, but…none of us would blame you.”

“No,” I shook my head. “This isn’t my thing. It’s hers. If we’re goingto make it, she needs to be able to do things she likes without me running along behind her to make sure she doesn’t kill herself.”

“It would be protection,” Eli countered.

“It would be me chasing after her. We’re not talking about a two-week trip. If this is as big as they’re making it sound, they could be there for months.”

“Or years,” Rae added. “Are you sure you can live with that?”

No, I didn’t think I could. I was pretty sure it would be hell. “We’ve only known each other a few weeks.”

I frowned, thinking about how chaotic our time together had been. Despite her being totally wrong for me according to my profile, she was absolutely fucking perfect. Sure, our meals were mostly cooked by me, but she’d been trying. And the cat situation…well, that was something I had learned to live with.

“Don’t think too hard about it,” Eli said, clapping me on the shoulder. “Make a choice and run with it. Otherwise, you’ll drive yourself insane.”

I nodded and pushed to my feet. The only thing I could do was discuss this with Daphne. Hell, I wasn’t even sure she wanted to go. Maybe that was just her mother talking. But the churning in my gut said differently. She went to school for this, and the way they were talking, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It was something I couldn’t afford to let her pass up if she really wanted to try it.

With my head full of possibilities, I started for the elevator, hitting the button impatiently. I just wanted to get home to Daphne. But as I stood there, I felt a presence beside me and turned to find Isla watching me.

“Hey,” I said, not sure what else there was to say.

She smiled sweetly at me, but I couldn’t help but compare her to Daphne. While Isla had beautiful green eyes also, Daphne’s were more lively. With Isla, the weight of the world always seemed to be tugging her down, but Daphne took things in stride, always bouncing from one thing to the next. They were really subtle differences in personality, but as I stood there, the two women seemed more different than I could ever imagine.

“I heard Daphne was in the hospital. Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Just hit her head on the table.”

Isla nodded, biting her lip gently as her eyes drifted away from me. “Look, I know it’s not my place to say anything, but…” Her eyes flicked back to mine. “You shouldn’t settle just because…”

I didn’t understand her meaning, and frankly, what I thought she was getting at just pissed me off.

“Settle because of what?”

“Look, the fight with IKE. The sudden dating website that turned into marriage…It’s screams desperation. I would hate for you to give up on real love just because of how badly things went between us.”

Fucking hell. I barked out a laugh at her presumption. “Is that what you think? That I had some mid-life crisis because I lost you and decided to throw up my hands and give up on love?”

She shifted uneasily. “Well…”

“You know, in a way, it did have to do with you. Yes, I was having a mid-life crisis. I lost someone, and then my dad was killed in front of me. And then I was shot and ended up in his fucking grave. All of those things had something to do with me making the decision I did. But you’re wrong that I gave up on love because of you. If anything, I was desperate to have what everyone else did. So, I tried to manufacture that. Maybe it didn’t work out exactly as I planned, but I found something even better. And she’s at home waiting for me, so if you’ll excuse me, I have someplace a lot fucking better to be right now.”

I stepped on the elevator, closing the door before she could get on, and smiled to myself. Yeah, it was gonna be alright.

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