Page 154 of Burn Bag
He scowled at his friends, who were not doing a great impression of wallflowers, and muttered, “Because they kidnapped me.”
“We did what we had to do,” Eli snapped. “Your house is a disaster.”
“Really? That’s not like you,” I frowned. Geez, was he really that depressed with me gone? Not that I could say anything. I’d been miserable without him.
“It’s not like I tore the place apart on purpose. I couldn’t get rid of the puppy. I told you what it was like for Tigger. He loves the dog! I had no choice but to keep him.”
I nodded, biting my lip as he tried to explain the situation. “I would have done the same thing.”
“That’s what I figured. In fact, I said to myself, what would Daphne do? And so I kept the dog.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And the birds?” Red snapped. “Tell her about how I found you sneaking into your house with a giant cage.”
He rolled his eyes at Red. “It wasn’t like that. I brought home a Macaw. It was lonely at the pet store!”
Oh, my poor husband. I knew exactly where this was going. I had been there, and I had most definitely done that. Well, I rescued kittens. I didn’t bring home birds.
“So, is it just the one?”
He started to nod, but then stopped and sighed. “No, it’s two.”
Red cleared his throat.
“Fine, it’s five, okay?”
I nearly choked on a gasp. “F—five birds?”
“Yes, but they’re a family,” he said defensively.
“I thought it was only four?” Red said, narrowing his eyes at my husband.
“I had one in the downstairs bedroom,” he muttered. “Not that it matters. It’s my fucking house. I can have as many birds as I want.”
“And the monkeys?” Eli asked.
“Monkeys?” I gasped, a smile breaking free. “You got monkeys?”
“Two of them,” he grinned. “They were really fucking cute.”
“Capuchin?”
He gave me a sheepish grin. “I named one Marcel.”
I tossed my head back and laughed, earning me scowls from his friends. They clearly didn’t understand how awesome this was. “This is so amazing!”
“Yeah?” Red snapped. “Tell me that when you go home and find a raccoon digging through your garbage.”
Okay, a raccoon was a little much.
“I named him Fred.”
But with a name like that, how could I be upset?
“And I also may have gotten a couple of turtles. Frank and Francine.”
“Aww.” I nearly started crying. It was just so freaking cute. My husband was turning into an animal lover like me.
