Page 46 of Burn Bag

I heard her in the background, running around as I writhed on the bed. I didn’t know what she was doing, and frankly, I didn’t care. I needed pain meds. Strong ones. And I needed them now.

“Tell me what to do!”

Colors swirled all around me in a dizzying pattern. This was worse than being shot. Worse than getting kicked in the balls. Only another man would understand my pain.

Daphne dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes filled with horror as she stroked my sweaty cheek. “What can I do?”

“Don’t stick me with a mummy.”

“What?”

“No curses,” I muttered, feeling like I was going to pass out.

“Bradley, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

In my last moments of consciousness, I gripped her hand and forced her to look at me. “If they turn me into a mummy, you’re the first person I’m coming after.”

And then everything went black.

13

DAPHNE

He passed out.

He really fucking passed out. “Oh, God,” I whispered. “What do I do?”

I scrambled around on my knees, searching for his phone. Between my clothes on the floor and the few pieces of random clothes he’d forgotten to fold, I couldn’t find a damn thing.

I lifted his shirt, certain it was under there, and got a whiff of his scent. I shoved it up against my nose and inhaled sharply. “God, he smells good.”

Then I saw my hubby passed out on the bed.

“Right, not the time to have an orgasm from my husband’s shirt.”

I couldn’t find the damn thing anywhere, and just as I was about to give up, I saw it peeking out from under the nightstand. Snatching it, I yelped in victory for all of two seconds before I realized I couldn’t get into it. Grabbing his finger, I pressed it to the screen, but there was no damn button. Swiping up, I saw the face at the top, signaling it needed an eyeball.

“Shit. Okay, this is so wrong,” I said to Bradley. “I’m so sorry, but if you want help, I need your eyeball.”

I leaned forward, and with two fingers, pried open his eyelid. Thescreen unlocked successfully and I cried out in joy. “I am so smart. You married a very good woman. Not that you can tell right now because you’re passed out, but when you wake up, you’ll be thanking your lucky stars to have married me.”

I scrolled through the contacts until I found a name that was familiar.

“FNG!” I shouted, my voice bordering on hysterical. I didn’t even give him a chance to talk before I pushed on. “I need your help! Bradley is passed out and I think he needs a hospital!”

“Who the fuck is Bradley?” he snorted.

“My husband,” I gritted out.

“Okay,” he said sarcastically. “And who is this?”

Right. I sort of forgot that not only couldn’t he see me, but he didn’t actually know me well enough to recognize my voice. “It’s Daphne. New wife on campus. Crazy lady who passed out at her wedding.”

“Oh shit!” he laughed. “When you said Bradley, I thought for sure this was a prank call.”

“Nope, just me, over here in desperate need of help.”

“You didn’t kill him, did you?”

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