Page 73 of Burn Bag

“And I’m sure some of the kids would be glad to go over and help take care of them,” Lock chimed in.

“Oh, for sure,” Red laughed. “I know of a few rugrats who would love that.”

I glared at Red, on the verge of punching him in the face for getting involved in this and turning on me.

“We are not bringing her along.”

“Well, since I’m running the company, this is really between Daphne and me,” Lock grinned. “I don’t think you have much say in it.”

I spun around and faced my new wife, ready to argue with her when I saw the hope in her eyes that I’d let her come along. I just couldn’t stand to tell her no. It was fucking impossible when she stared at me with those bright green eyes. And at that moment, I knew I was fucking screwed for the rest of my life. I’d end up with a house full of cats, give her anything she wanted, and probably go broke making her happy.

And it would all fucking be worth it to see that look on her face.

“Fine. When do we leave?”

“Hey!”I called out to Daphne. “Do not open that cage!”

She was bent in front of one of the cages, smiling at the fucking cat who was purring at her. I knew better than to let her near the damn thing. By the end of this trip, I was going to own one of these fucking Ashera cats.

“Oh, he’s just sad and lonely,” she crooned, sticking her fingers in the cage.

“Don’t—”

She spun and glared at me, though there was little heat behind the look. “He’s not going to attack me. He’s so sweet.”

“Sweet my ass,” I muttered. “The thing looks like a miniature leopard.”

Red clapped me on the shoulder as he strode up beside me, grinning like a fool. “Look on the bright side. She’s fully entertained for the flight and you can take a nap.”

Right. Like that was going to happen. I had to keep both eyes open around this woman. God only knew what would happen if I wasn’t watching.

Footsteps drew my attention from my errant wife toward the door of the plane. “Are we ready?” Max muttered as he boarded the flight, stumbling around.

My eyes widened in horror. “This is fucking worse than if Scottie was flying.”

“Relax. Max has this,” Red chuckled.

“He’s fucking drunk!”

“He’s always drunk,” Red countered. “It’s the only way he can fly anymore without puking.”

I shook my head in disgust. “You know, just once, I think we should get a pilot who isn’t about to ruin one of our planes or send us into the ocean.”

“Oh, come on. Every time that happens, there’s a logical explanation for it.”

“Yeah, logical,” I snorted in derision. “Like hitting birds or being attacked. Do you know what the odds are of going down in a plane crash?”

He winced, scratching the back of his head. “It’s definitely higher in our line of work.”

“One in a million,” I informed him. “One in a fucking million. That’s for the average citizen. Oh, but we’re not average. No,” I chuckled. “Because we have fucking pilots who puke and drink on the job. We end up in the ocean more often than we do at the actual airport. That’s not normal, Red. It’s not fucking normal. And on this flight—the one we’re taking today where we’re transporting fucking cats—my brand new wife is on the same fucking flight. Do you get how shitty that is? Look at her!”

I scowled, pointing my finger in her direction. “Fucking innocent and naive with no idea that the odds are most definitely not in our favor on this flight. She will die because we had to jump out of a plane, but she was too fucking concerned about those fucking cats. Because I know my wife. I might be a newly wed with only a couple of days under my belt, but I already know that if the plane was going down, she wouldn’t leave without those fucking cats. She’d rather die in a fiery crash than save her own damn skin.

“And where does that leave me?” I ranted. “A husband who gets his wife killed on their first flight has to be the shittiest husband in the world! That’s me! The shittiest husband because I let her come on this flight, knowing that we’d most likely be killed!”

I was panting hard, my chest heaving as I ranted, but I couldn’t stop. The words flowed from my mouth in a flurry of panic. My wife was about to die. I felt it deep in my gut.

Then Red clapped me on the shoulder and squeezed hard. “You need to relax. This is like the mummy thing all over again.”

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