Page 77 of Burn Bag

“A human life? Absolutely. That?” he asked, pointing at the cage. “You’re out of your fucking mind.”

I glanced back at the adorable face and frowned. “What makes his life worth so much less?”

“He’s a cat,” Bradley said slowly.

“People pay that kind of money to have a baby.”

“A baby is a living, breathing thing,” he argued as Eli approached.

“Talking about kids already?” Eli grinned.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Last I checked, these cats are alive and breathing.”

“You know what I mean. A baby is a human.”

“Ah, the debate over life,” Eli nodded. “Didn’t expect you to get into political shit so quickly, but?—”

“And one of God’s creatures,” I interrupted.

“Precisely.”

I grinned at the trap I’d caught him in. “Precisely,” I repeated.

“What?” Eli looked between the two of us, thoroughly confused by the conversation.

Cocking my head at Eli, I decided to go in for the kill. “Would you spend a hundred grand to save a cat for your wife?”

He chuckled, shaking his finger at me. “I see where you’re going with this. I’m not falling for that trap.”

“What trap? It’s a simple question.”

“It’s a fucking dangerous question—one with no clear way out. There’s a difference between giving an honest answer and wanting to keep my wife on my good side.”

“Men do that?” I gasped. “Does your wife know this?”

“Of course she does. Every married woman knows that they hold the cards in every situation. There is literally no question a man can answer honestly without fearing for his life, his marriage, or his sanity.”

“That is not true! Women would prefer honesty every time!”

“Yeah? Go ahead. Ask your new husband a question and find out if that’s true.”

My eyes flicked to Bradley, but he looked just as worried as I did. “Fine. I’ll start with an easy one. If I was fat, would you still want to be with me?”

“Well, that depends.”

My jaw dropped in shock. “That depends?”

“Well, yeah. Did you get fat having my babies? Was it due to medication? Or were you sitting around eating donuts all day?”

“Eh! Wrong,” Eli said, chuckling as he slapped his friend on the back.

“Why is that wrong?” Bradley asked. “If she refuses to take care of herself, why would I want to be with her?”

“What if I was severely depressed?” I countered.

“Then you should get some fucking help.”

“It’s not always that easy,” I argued. “Sometimes getting help is the hardest part!”

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