Page 30 of The Pieces We've Lost

We kept driving until we made it to a clearing in a field. She pulled off the road and turned off the engine. I followed her out of the truck and sat next to her on the tailgate.

“What is your favorite place in the world?” She stared off into the distance. There was a light breeze that caused the grass to sway, but the sun was out, shining on thelandscape ahead of us. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky either. It looked like a scene straight out of a movie.

“Probably the rodeo arena.”

“Really? Not a city or the mountains? The rodeo arena?” She laughed a little like I was making a joke.

“No, I’m serious. The arena feels like home to me. It’s where I get to do the thing I love with the people I care about the most. The guys that I compete with? They’re family to me. We may not be blood, but we’re brothers. I wouldn’t trade going on the road with them for anything. My roping partner, Reid, especially. He’s done so much for me.”

“That makes sense, I guess. Especially if that’s all you’ve ever known. Reid sounds like a great guy.” She paused for a moment. “I think this might be my favorite place in the world.”

“Houston?”

“No, just this field. This is the place I always go when I take my dad’s truck out. And maybe it’s not so much the specific place, kind of like how arenas are everywhere, but it’s the people you’re with, or in my case, the pickup.”

I looked at her, noticing the faint freckles on her nose, and I wanted to lean in and see what she tasted like. She met my eyes, and for a moment I thought maybe she was considering the same thing. I couldn’t tell, but I didn’t know how many chances I would get for this moment, so I was going to take it. I shifted my gaze from her eyes to her lips and back again and slowly started to move, closing the gap between us.

“Is it okay if I—” The sound of my phone ringing cut me off.

Whatthe fuck?

She pulled away from me abruptly, and I dug my phone out of my pocket and saw that Reid was calling.

“I’m sorry, it’s Reid,” I apologized. I didn’t want to be rude by answering my phone, but when Reid called, I always answered. It’s what he would do for me. “What’s up?” I answered the phone.

“Where are you, man? We need to meet Aaron in an hour, remember?”Oh shit.I had forgotten all about Aaron.

“Sorry, man. I forgot. I’ll be there, don’t worry.” I hung up before he could say anything else. “I’m so sorry, I forgot I had plans with Reid and our old coach,” I apologized to Ellison, feeling a little foolish for forgetting but also a little ticked off that Reid interrupted our moment.

“We should probably head back into town anyway.” Ellison was already hopping off the tailgate and heading toward the cab.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

ellison

We drove back into town in silence. I had to take Colter back to his truck, and I was questioning why I had him ride with me. This time, the silence was awkward and uncomfortable. It wasn’t even remotely similar to the silence at the restaurant. No, this time there was silence because of the elephant in the room…well, car.

Colter Carson had almost kissed me. And I had almostlethim.

The only thing that had stopped it from happening was his roping partner calling him. It was both a relief and a disappointment, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. So here we were, driving the thirty minutes back into town in complete and utter silence. I hadn’t turned on music or anything, and it felt too late to do it now, like I was trying to distract myself from what had happened.

We were playing a dangerous game, both waiting to see who would be the first to bring it up. I already knew it wasn’t going to be me. And if and when he did bring it up, I would act as though it was nothing. It was better that way—forboth of us.

“Ellison, I…” Colter awkwardly started, and I knew he was about to bring up the almost kiss.

I had two choices here. I could either cut him off and pretend I knew exactly what he was going to say, or I could hear him out. The rational thing would be to hear him out, but since when had I ever been rational?

“It’s not a big deal, Colter. We almost kissed but then we didn’t. It was probably for the best.” The last part was a low blow, judging by the way he flinched. It was true, though. He had no idea what he was getting himself into by falling for me and I was just saving him from it.

Hurt flashed across his face, but then he pursed his lips and nodded.

A twinge of guilt rose in me, but I pushed down the feeling. I was doing what I had to do to protect both of us. Perhaps it was a mistake opening up to him so much about my father, but it happened and I couldn’t take it back. I wasn’t sure what had possessed me to show him the vehicle in the first place. Maybe it was because I felt like I could trust him. More likely it was because of a selfish, ulterior motive. One that granted me less guilt for keeping it a secret.

But it wasn’t too late to let him down easy and let him go on with his life in Montana. Chalk it all up to being lust, a moment of weakness. That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it? Hurt was inevitable in this situation, so one of us had to be the one to pull the trigger and get it over with. That’s all I was doing.

We pulled up to the diner where we had gotten lunch, and I parked next to his truck. He looked like a sad golden retriever puppy as he glanced at me before opening the door to my car.

“Thank you for showing me the pickup, Ellison. Itmeant a lot to me.” He shut the door and left me alone to wade in my pool of conflicting feelings.

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