Page 40 of The Pieces We've Lost

Yeah, because no girl after Sophie had ever captured my attention like Ellison.

“I guess I need to work on hiding my feelings better then, if you can see so clearly through me,” I joked, and Reid winced a little. He knew what happened when I hid my feelings too much. When I shut everyone out. No one else knew, so they didn’t think anything of it. They all thought I was being funny.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m ready for a little break from being on the road.” Reid changed the subject.

“What? You got a girl back home that we don’t know about too?” Mikey nudged him a little.

“Nope, and don’t even go there.” Reid gave him a side-eyed look, quieting Mikey real quickly.

We continued to chat for a while before Mikey decided he wanted to go to another bar because he heard there was a mechanical bull. Not like he already rode bulls for a living.

“You coming with, Carson?” he asked as we started to file out of the bar.

“Nah, I think I’m going to head home. Hit the hay.” I’d already stopped drinking for the night, anyway. I always made a conscious effort to know—and be mindful of—my limits when drinking so I didn’t fall back into unhealthy habits.

“How about y’all?” He looked at Jake and Reid.

“Ah, fuck it. I’ll come.” Jake shrugged.

“I’m good, man. I’m gonna head back with Colt.” Reid tilted his head toward me.

“Suit yourselves. We’ll see you tomorrow morning, then.”

We parted ways with Mikey and Jake and started to walk toward our trucks.

“You really like her, don’t you?” Reid put his hands in his pockets as he walked alongside me.

The city was still very much alive, despite it being almost ten o’clock. The sound of people filing in and out of crowded bars and traffic in the distance filled the air.

“Yeah, I do. She came to the rodeo today. I didn’t even ask her to, and I know it was a lot for her.” I explained as much as I could without revealing the secret about her dad. That was Ellison’s story to tell, not mine.

“I know how much it means to you to have people show up for you,” he replied, understanding what I meant.

“She’s special, Reid. She doesn’t look at me with pity or like she wants to fix me. I feel like I can trust her, tell her about the parts of me that the world doesn’t see.”

“So, have you told her about Sophie, then?”

Fuck. I knew he would ask this.

I sighed. “That’s the one thing I haven’t told her. It’s not that I’m worried about Sophie and the fact I wasengaged, it’s the stuff that happened after.” The drinking, the anger. The feeling that I wasn’t deserving of anything, anyone. It wasn’t just an elephant in the room. It was a ticking time bomb, waiting to destroy everything I’d rebuilt for myself since I pulled myself out of the darkness.

“If she’s really like you say she is, Colt, she won’t judge you. You said it yourself, she doesn’t want to fix you. But you’ll have to tell her sooner or later.”

“I’m not ready to fail again.” It was a terrible thing to say, I knew that. But no matter how often people told me that Sophie leaving wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t bring myself to believe them. In my eyes, there was always more I could have done, more I could have said. I carried the weight of the breakup like a cross on my back. I might not have had physical scars from our relationship, but the cuts ran deeper than anybody realized.

“I know, buddy.” Reid had been through this with me before, and I knew I could count on him to stand by me now too.

I had plenty of time before the second semifinal round tonight. There wasn’t an urgency to practice right now as we would be able to get in one last run tomorrow morning before the championship. I had a few different options. Hang out with the guys, do something on my own, or try to see Ellison again.

The answer was obvious. I pulled out my phone to send her a message, but she had beaten me to it.

Blaze

Hey Sparky. Dying to get off the ranch. You in?

You read my mind. Where to, Blaze?

Blaze

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