Page 87 of The Pieces We've Lost

“Your NFR Average Champions for team roping are…” The announcer paused for effect. “Colter Carson and Reid Lawson!”

I didn’t hear any of the other names or events. The world seemed to pause, the people a blur around me andthe cheers and voice of the announcer nothing but background noise.

He did it! We did it!

The boys all hollered for their friends, Mikey howling, “I knew they would do it!”

Isa looked out into the arena with a starstruck look in her eye, and it made me wonder if there was something going on with her and Reid.

When Colter stepped out of the arena, I ran up to him and leapt into his arms. “I’m so proud of you.” I planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Wow, Ellison Wilson and public displays of affection? Are you sick?” He acted surprised.

“Don’t get your hopes up too much, Sparky. Really, though. I’m so proud of you.”

Colter had fought tooth and nail to get here and all of his work had paid off. He was one of the best cowboys in the world tonight.

“I couldn’t have done it without you. You are my guiding force, my motivation, my fire. This win wasn’t only for me and Reid tonight. It was for you too, baby.”

I rolled my eyes with amusement at his declaration. He had always been the sentimental one of the two of us.

Normally, I would call him a cheese ball or something of the like, but the truth was I was happy to be his. I wanted to experience every win and loss, every high and low. I didn’t need to know what came next to know that he was meant to be in my life, no reservations, no hesitations.

My mother walked over to me and Colter, and I called out to her.

“Mom! This is Colter.” I started to introduce them. She was smiling, but her eyes were glassy so I paused. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, El. I’m just so proud of you, you know.” She sniffed and wiped a tear from her eyes.

I looked at her with a confused look. Colter had won an NFR Championship and she was about to meet him for the first time. She knew how important he was to me and she knew about our relationship, so why was she crying?

“Mrs. Merritt, it’s so nice to meet you.” Colter took off his hat and extended his hand.

“It’s wonderful to meet you too, Colter. Please, call me Hanna.” Instead of shaking his hand she pulled him in for a hug.

After their embrace, Colter motioned that he was going to go talk to Reid. Presumably to give us some space to talk.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” I asked, a little concerned. Did she not like him?

“Oh, hon, there’s nothing wrong. I can see how happy you are and I know your dad would be so proud of you. He never wanted you to blame rodeo, this lifestyle. I did everything I could to help you get there, but I also knew you needed to come to terms with everything yourself, on your own time, and you have,” she started to say. “I’ve seen the light come back in your eyes when you’re with him. You both needed each other in your lives. And I’m so happy you’ve found him. He reminds me a lot of your father, you know.”

Now I was the one who was crying. My mouth couldn’t form any words, so I just nodded and pulled her in for a hug.

“Thank you, Mom,” I whispered.

I looked over at Colter and Reid, their faces bright with excitement at winning their first NFR championship. Theircareers would only go up from here as they were full of promise and still in the early stages.

I thought about what my mom had said, about Colter, about my dad, and about rodeo, and it hit me. She was right. Rodeo had been the thing that my dad and I both loved. When he died, I thought my love for it had gone with him—that I’d never be able to feel that joy again. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.

Grief was a funny thing. It made you feel like you’d never get back the pieces of yourself that you’d lost. That you’d feel their absence like a cavity in your chest forever. And in a way, it was true. But even in an injury, your organs shift to fill the space that was left behind. The loss of my dad would still be there, but other things—trust and love—had shifted to fill the void his death had created. It took meeting Colter Carson to realize that.

I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

epilogue

ONE MONTH LATER

The air was cold, at least cooler than usual, as I walked around the ranch. The weather was gloomy, as if even the ranch was mourning my departure. After the NFR, Colter had asked me to move to Montana with him. It was hard, leaving my mother and the place I’d grown up in, but she encouraged me to go. She said it was time I did something for myself instead of sacrificing all of me for everyone else, and for once I didn’t fight her on it.

---