Page 14 of The Chances We Take

“You’re right.” I huffed, almost regretting telling her about my mother’s illness. “It’s not what I want to hear.”

I could imagine what she looked like. She was probably biting her lip, one arm crossed over her body resting on her waist as she thought about how to respond. I’d seen it before when she was nervous and didn’t know what to say.

“What if she’s getting sober?”

The thought had crossed my mind. But it always ended in the same reality: Eileen Lawsoncouldn’tget sober. Kacey and Ryker had been trying to get her into a program for the last three years. And even if she went, shealwaysrelapsed. She never lasted more than two weeks sober.

“I just don’t believe that, Isa.” It pained me to say it,but my mother wasn’t like Colter. She didn’twantto get better. It felt like we had done everything we possibly could to help her, but she wouldn’t accept it. I spent the better half of my childhood trying to get her to stop drinking. To talk some sense into her, make her see that we—Iwas struggling.

A sigh I probably wasn’t supposed to hear came from Isa. “I can’t pretend to understand what you’ve been through. Or what your siblings are still going through. I just want you to know you can talk to me about it. I’m not judging you or your mom.”

“I know.” I should have been happy she was there for me, was someone I could talk to. But I wasn’t, not really.

I could handle Eileen on my own; I didn’t need someone to help me with that. I’d been taking care of myself for the past fifteen years. I didn’t need anyone to take care of me when I was twelve, and I didn’t need anyone to take care of me now. Besides, knowing the full scope of my problems would only bring Isa down with me.

I didn’t need to be the one to dim her light.

CHAPTER SIX

isabelle

Ican’t believe you’re already going back next week,” I whined to Ellison. Time had flown by so fast; it seemed like she just got here.

“I know. But I have to get back so I can catch up on a few work things before everything gets crazy. And besides, it’ll only be a week without me and then you’ll be in Montana.”

“Ugh, I wish I could move to Montana with you. I could live in the stables with the horses.”

“We both know you wouldn’t last two hours out in the stables!” She laughed. “That would be fun, though, if you moved closer.”

“Maybe one day.” I sighed, finding myself dreaming of a future where Ellison and I didn’t live a thousand miles away again. We’d gone from living together, to living within an hour apart, to living several flights apart.

To be honest, adjusting to her being gone was hard at first and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself for a while. For as long as I’d known them, I’d never been without either Ellison or my sister. Even though Amelia was sevenyears younger than me, she was one of my best friends. And Ellison and I had been practically attached at the hip since we met during our freshman year of college. So when she moved, I’d never felt more alone, despite constantly being surrounded by other people.

I may have been, by definition, a social butterfly, but I was always the person who initiated conversations and gatherings. That alone could get exhausting. Add in the feeling of only being chosen when it’s convenient, and I start to overthink.

I hung out a lot with Erin Lindsey, one of our mutual friends who also lived in Houston, but it wasn’t the same. We were almost too alike. I needed Ellison to balance me out. I was the sun to her moon.

“What’s next on the list for wedding things?” she asked as she cleared off the dining room table.

“We finished the invitations last week, so those need to go in the mail, and you still need to write your vows. How about I take the invitations to the post office, so then I can also stop by the bookstore and see if they need anything from me. I’m sure by the time I get back you’ll at least have a good start on vows, right?” I suggested.

“I don’t even know what to say. Not for any bad reasons, I just don’t know how to put it in words.” She shuffled a few loose papers around the table, like she was unsure of what to do with her hands.

“Well, if you don’t have anything when I get back I can give you some ideas. Maybe look up videos of other people’s vows for inspiration? Or read some more of my romance books,” I teased as I got up to walk to the front door.

Ellison had never been fully convinced by my books, even when I begged her to give them a chance. She neveradmitted it out loud, but I knew she thought fictional men were unrealistic and gave real men too high of standards to live up to. What she didn’t realize was Colter was basically a real-life book boyfriend. But if I ever told her that, she’d probably deny it because she didn’t want to admit she was wrong. She’d always been a bit stubborn, but I still loved her.

“I’ll come up with something. Since you’re going into town for the bookstore, can you stop at the Corral too?” she asked as I was reaching for the doorknob.

The Corral was the coffee shop where Ellison and Colter had their first date and a place we frequently visited. I could recall many coffee dates we spent recapping our weeks—spending hours chatting over our sugary lattes—even the ones where we saw each other almost every day.

I looked over my shoulder at her. “The ice is going to melt by the time I get back. Are you sure? Or you could come with me.”

“No, I won’t get anything done if I come with you,” she pointed out. “We can go another time.”

“All right, if you’re sure.” I opened the door, welcoming the morning sunshine. “I’ll be back in a few!”

I drove to the post office, dropping off all of the envelopes, then made my way into the city. As I drove, I decided to call my sister.

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