Page 92 of The Chances We Take

“I’ll be back,” I huffed.

She tried to stop me, asking, “Wait, where are you going?” but I pushed past her.

I needed air. I neededspace.

I pushed through the front door and started walking. I didn’t know where I was going, just that I needed to go.

But when gravel crunched behind me, I knew Isa had followed me outside. I stopped once the footsteps got closer, not wanting to draw this out.

“Isa.” I whirled around to tell her to leave me alone—I just needed a minute—but she reached out her hand, putting it on my chest, and lightly fisted my shirt.

My eyes slowly raked up from where her hand was to look at her, her chocolate-brown eyes pleading.

She was still holding on to my shirt. “Listen, you ass. You told me you weren’t going to leave me, so don’t.” She softened her tone as she continued. “Talk to me. Let me in.” She paused. “Please.”

“I can handle it on my own.”

She laughed, causing me to contort my face in confusion. “I know you can. Believe me. But you shouldn’t have to carry this all on your own.” She released my shirt. “I see the way you care about the people around you. You shoulder everyone else’s burdens and expect to still be able to carry your own. But unless you let someone else in—to help you with the load—you will crumble, Reid.”

I broke eye contact.

“I’ve been friends with Ellison for years. Trust me when I say you’re not going to be able to push me away that easily. I’m not scared, and you shouldn’t be either.”

I thought about what she was saying, and my heart ached, the pain in my chest refusing to dull.

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do. That’s obviously not my place. But I also don’t want you to make any decisions you’ll regret because of stubbornness.” She cut me off before I could protest. “Don’t even try to say you’re not stubborn.” She said it with an air of amusement, not out of malicious intent.

I sighed, my breath a bit unsteady. “I never told you how bad it really was. My mom wasn’t always an alcoholic. She used to be…bright. I don’t know what it was that caused things to change. After my youngest brother was born, it just all went downhill. But I’ve never blamed Ryker for anything. It was never any of our faults.

“It started out as her sneaking shots—a little bit in her coffee or orange juice in the morning—but then it turned into drinking in front of us. That’s when my dad started leaving for longer periods of time, even longer than he’d been gone before. Typically, he’d be gone for a week or two and then come home for a bit before heading out again. But after a while, it turned into months where he was away. The twins and Ryker were obviously too young to understand, but I was old enough to know something was wrong.”

Isa drew in a breath, but she didn’t say anything, so I took it as my cue to go on.

“I told you she ruined my birthday for me. Well, the worst was my thirteenth. Kacey and Cooper were nine and Ryker was five and she had planned this big party for me—to celebrate becoming a teenager and all. The week before, she seemed like her old self, and I thought maybe she was starting to get better. Mind you, I had already been taking care of my siblings for a year at this point, but no oneknew about that.” I stopped for a moment too long as an emotion I couldn’t name rolled across Isa’s features. “The day of the party came, and a bunch of my friends were there. And I don’t know if she had been sneaking alcohol during the party, but she just snapped.

“It scared the shit out of everyone there. And from that day forward, I stopped inviting friends over. I stoppedgetting invitedby friends. No one wanted the kid with the alcoholic mother to show up and ruin their parties.

“I wasn’t afraid my problems would scare you away or you wouldn’t want to be my friend. I was afraid if you ever learned the truth about Eileen, I’d be the reason your light—your optimism—faded. I didn’t want to break you.”

“I’m not fragile,” she whispered, although her voice didn’t falter. “I’m not going to shatter, because life isn’t a fairytale, and I know that. I can take it. Just because my family life growing up was stable, doesn’t mean I haven’t had my own challenges.”

“That’s not what I’m?—”

She interrupted again. “I know. I’m not accusing you of anything. I promise. I just want you to know whatever you decide to tell me, whatever happened to you as a kid, doesn’t change my opinion of you. It doesn’t change what we have. Your past doesn’t define you. Sure, it shapes you, but without the things you went through as a kid, you wouldn’t be the same person you are today. And I happen to really like the Reid in front of me.”

“I’m scared of what I’m going to find if I go see her. If I answer her texts.”

“I know. And I’ll be whatever you need me to be. You’ve been the person I’ve always been able to run to, and I want to be that for you, I think Ihavebeen that for you. So, if you want me to come with you, I will. And if it’ssomething you need to do on your own, I’ll still be supporting you. But I can’t—and won’t—make the decision for you.” She paused. “But I think you deserve closure. And your mom deserves a chance.”

I took a deep breath and pulled out my phone.

*3 texts from unknown number*

All you have to do is look. You don’t even have to answer or do anything with them, I thought to myself as I opened the texts.

Unknown number

Reid, it’s Mom.

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