Page 89 of Playing With My Heart Strings

I need to make a decision, a decision that will determine how the show proceeds, but I need a clear head to do that.

I know exactly who I need to talk to when we get back home.

He’s already waiting in the conference room when I arrive, but the moment he sees me, he gets up from his chair.

“I saw what happened. Are you okay?” The question is almost enough to bring tears to my eyes, because the first thing Craig wanted to know was if I was okay. Not what I’m going to do about the situation, not what the production company has done to handle it, not what the label is going to think. He’s always had my best interests at heart. That’s why he’s my manager.

When I don’t answer right away, he pulls me into a hug, patting me on the back like I’m that eighteen-year-old kid again.

“I don’t know what to do,” I choke out. “She’s the one, Craig. Ithoughtshe was the one. But everything has been a lie.”

“Take a deep breath, kid.” Craig is shorter than me, but when he holds my arms like he wants to shake me, I’ve never felt smaller.

I close my eyes, inhale a long breath, hold it for a few seconds, then push it out through my nose, repeating the action until my heart rate slows and my head clears.

“What are your feelings toward the other two women you have? Do you see a future with them?”

I shake my head. “Not like I do with her. Sure, I could see myself in a business partnership with either of them if it comes to that, but I’m notin lovewith them. And I don’t think I could pretend to be in love with them.”

Craig simply listens, nodding and occasionally tapping his lips as though in deep thought.

“I opened up to her, told her about my family, about the media portraying me as someone who I’m not. If I’m a lifeboat, then the feelings I have for her are the entire ocean, Craig. There’s no limit to how she makes me feel. But I can’t shake the thought of everything being a lie. That she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear so she could stay on the show longer.”

“You don’t have to make a decision right now. But if it came down to it, would you be willing to let her go?”

“I don’t know, Craig. I don’t know.”

36

baylor

The Girls

Dusty’s beenradio silent since we got back to Nashville. I was informed by the producers that I won’t be going on a solo date this week. They didn’t give me a reason why, but I’m not an idiot. I can read between the lines. And I can’t say I blame Dusty. Even though I hadn’t told him any bold-faced lies since our first meeting, a lie by omission is still a lie.

Instead of taking us to the house during solo dates, we’re stuck at the hotel, which means I’ll likely be spending the week alone in my room. I’m not sure how Katherine and Valerie feel about me, and they’re probably too concerned about their relationships with Dusty to want to spend time with me. I don’t blame them. They came here with good intentions. They both deserve to be in the final three. Sage deserved to be here, too.

I sit cross-legged on my bed and pull out my journal, because if I’m going to wallow in my feelings, I might as well get a song out of it. I also flip through the pages I’ve filled since the week I came on the show. At some point between week two and now, I found my voice. Inspiration sparked in me, and I’ll bedamned if I let anyone snuff it out. I have to continue the show with my head held high, because if I don’t, then everything my parents have tried to tell me—about a career in music not being worthwhile—will be true.

When I finally leave my room a few hours later, I catch Alex in the hallway.

I call out to him, walking at a faster pace to catch up.

He doesn’t slow down for me. “What’s up, Baylor?”

“Oh, you know, just staying out of the way,” I retort.

That gets him to pause. “Listen, Baylor, I’m really busy right now. Dusty’s been a mess, and I need to go deal with it.”

This could be my opportunity to talk to him. No other producer would willingly take me to see Dusty, but Alex just might.

“I know this is a lot to ask, but?—”

“Baylor,” Alex warns.

“I just want to talk to him, Alex.”

He lets out an exasperated sigh. “It’s a bad idea.”

---