Page 119 of Revelation

“Meh, I’m a good-looking guy—I’m not gonna pretend I don’t know that. But Jonas is, like, supernatural. People always fall all over themselves when he walks into a room. He’s just got this weird magic about him no one can resist. I think it’s the fact that he’s obviously so fucked up. People love that shit.”

“Well, I think you’re every bit as magical and fucked-up as your brother and then some.”

He laughs.

“I’m serious. I swear to God, if I’d been one of the girls who encountered you and Jonas during your travels, I would have gone foryou, hands down.”

“Really?”

“Heck yeah. You’ve got that mischief in your eyes I can’t resist. Jonas is sweet and crazy, but you’re the badboy—and I can never resist a bad boy.”

“Oh yeah? I’m a bad boy, huh?” He runs his fingertips up my bare thigh.

“Oh, yeah,” I say.

“Well, guess what? This bad boy’s suddenly hungry again, baby. You got any sweet potatoes over there? I’m thinking about macking down on some sweet potatoesa la pussy.”

“Oooh, sounds delish.” I smear the requested food all over my pelvic bone and clit. “Bon appetit, monsieur.”

Josh leans down and laps up the mashed potatoes off my pelvis, making me writhe, and then he devours my clit like a starving man on a Snickers bar. It feels insanely awesome, but there’s just no way I’m gonna reach orgasm.

After a while, Josh sits up from between my legs and stares at me. “Nothing?”

I shake my head. “Feels fantastic, but I can’t get there. Too stoned.”

He leans back. “Well, at least we look good, huh, PG?”

“Damn straight, we do, PB.” I flex my bicep and kiss it.

Josh laughs. “Okay, it’s official,” he says. “This sucks. No more weed for you. It’s been fun and all, super-duper fun, you’re hilarious—but it’s now abundantly clear I’m the idiot who turned a Ferrari into a fucking lawnmower. I should be taken into the woods and shot for doing that.”

I shrug. “You didn’t do it. I’m the one who sucked on the joint.”

“No, I’m the one who pulled it out and said, ‘Hey, PG, ya wanna?’ But I’ve officially learned my lesson. From here on out, I’ll never do anything ever again to keep my beautiful Ferrari from hitting top racing speeds like she was built to do.”

I sigh. “Probably for the best. But we had fun, though, didn’t we?”

“Fuck yeah, we did. Good times were had by all.” He smirks. “So, hey, PG, whaddaya say we take a shower and clean all the spinach and sweet potato out of your cooch and then roll around naked in my bed for a while? I wanna see if I can get my little Ferrari’s engine revving to full-throttle again, against all odds.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Everything’s fun with you, babe.” He kisses the top of my hand, pulls me up, and leads me toward his bedroom like a rag doll. He lets out a long, happy sigh. “Another fantasy checked off the list,” he mutters softly, seemingly to himself. He makes a sloppy checkmark with his finger in the air.

“We just fulfilled a fantasy?”

“Fuck yeah, we did. The very best one.”

“What was it?”

Josh beams me a goofy smile. His eyes are droopy and glazed. “Hottest Girl EverTurns Out To BeCoolestGirl Ever.” He makes another checkmark in the air with his finger. “And she says we’re gonna be happy, happy, happyflorebblaaaaaaaaaaaaah.”

32

KAT

My phone beeps with a text just as I’m walking through the front door of my apartment. I put down a stack of mail on my kitchen counter and check my phone.

“Hey, PG,” Josh writes.