Page 135 of Revelation

“Blane?” Sarah says, aghast. “Blane’s not aname—that’s an appliance!”

“Exactly!”

We share a long laugh.

“I love Ducky,” Sarah says.

“So, anyway,Blaneand I are at a bar, and while poor Blane is babbling about something excruciatingly boring, I catch eyes with the hot bartender and it’s like ka-boom.”

“It’s on like Donkey Kong.”

“Exactly. So I excuse myself to go to the restroom and on my way I slip a note to the bartender—you know, total slut move—”

“Total.”

“He meets me in the bathroom and fucks the crap out of me and then I return to my date like nothing happened.”

“Oh my God.Hawt.”

“Isn’t it?” I shudder. “So hawt. Gah.”

“And extremely freaky-deaky.”

“This coming from a girl who processed sex club applications?”

“People weren’t nearly that creative in their applications, believeme. You’d be shocked how same-same people are. Most people aren’t hankering to star in imaginary-pornos. They just want their dick sucked by a pretty girl.”

I laugh. “Sarah,” I say. “So unlike you to talk like that.”

Sarah bats her eyelashes. “Jonas is bringing out my dirty girl lately. I’m spinning out of control.”

“Good. It’s about time.”

“So my sweet Jonas was BoringBlane,huh?” She makes a frownie face. “That’s so mean—you guys are such meanies.”

“I didn’t do it to him. Josh arranged everything. Jonas just showed up on my doorstep and handed me a poker chip.”

“A poker chip?”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s Josh’s code for ‘Let the imaginary-porno begin.’”

“Oh my gosh. You guys are crazy.”

I shrug. “I told you. We’re freaky-deaky.”

“Well, I’ll have you know Jonas isn’t boring,” Sarah says, sniffing the air. “He’s really funny and smart and very, very interesting. In fact, Jonas is the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

I laugh. “I believe you. It wasn’t me who cast Jonas as Blane—it was his mean brother.” I make an apologetic face. “Are you mad?”

“Mad? No! I’d much rather you cast my boyfriend as the date you ditch than the hot bartender you screw in a bathroom.”

We both laugh.

“Speaking of which, did you snag your hot bartender or what?”

“Of course. He didn’t exactly play hard to get.”

“Was he actually tending bar or just sort of standing near the bar, pretending?”

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