“Someone what?” she prompts. “Come on. We’re still playing the honesty-game, aren’t we?”
“I’ve never gotten to do it with someone I’m in a relationship with,” I say evenly.
There’s a long silence.
Shit.
Fuck.
She’s just staring at me, not saying anything, her hand interwoven in mine.
What am I doing? What am I saying? Why isn’t she saying anything?
I pull my hand out of hers and run it through my hair. Goddammit. I should have just said “someone I’m dating.” That would have been a safer bet. But are Kat and I even dating? I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. This whole time in Vegas together has been so bizarre and concentrated and amazing—I can’t make heads or tails of what we’d call what we’re doing in real life.
Kat sighs and sets her jaw, apparently coming to some sort of decision.
“I think we should be exclusive,” she says definitively.
My heart physically stops beating for a second. Holy fucking shit.
“At least during this fantasy-exchange thing,” she adds quickly.
My stomach bursts with butterflies. My cheeks burst into flames. “Yeah, good idea,” I say quickly. “I think so, too.”
Her face is on fire. “Because I like not using condoms with you,” she continues. “I like feeling you inside me with nothing between us. But I’m only willing to continue that way if we’re exclusive.”
“I agree.” Now my heart is racing. Holy shit. My chest physically hurts. “Shit, I don’t wanna go back to condoms, ever, as long as I live.” Oh shit. What am I saying? What did I just imply?
“Good.” Her cheeks flush. “Condoms are hereby banished. Gone.” She clears her throat. “For as long as you want.” She takes a deep breath. “You know, at least during the time while we’re”—she takes another deep gulp of air—“doing our fantasy thing.” She makes a weird face.
I nod, my heart still racing like a runaway train. “Agreed.”
“Good,” she says. “Yep. Done. Exclusive.”
“Yep. We’re officially exclusive as of right now. You and me.”
She grins. “Okay. Good.”
“Great.”
“I’m all yours.”
My entire body jolts at the sound of those three words.I’m all yours,she just said to me. Holy hot fucking damn, I’ve got to sit down.
“Okay,” she says, almost to herself. She exhales loudly. “Cool.”
“Cool,” I say.
We sit and stare at each other, smiling, neither of us speaking.
I feel like my IQ just went down fifty points. My brain isn’t functioning.
What exactly did we just agree to? She suggested being exclusive just for purposes of our little fantasy-fulfillment exchange. Does that mean we’re not in an actual relationship—that we’re some kind of exclusive fuck buddies? Because it sure feels like this girl’s a helluva lot more than my fuck buddy. Fuck, I should ask her for clarification. But I’m not sure I wanna hear her answer.
I clear my throat. “So when are you gonna have your period? We should plan your trip to L.A. around that.”
She grins. “I’m not. I take extended birth control pills. No period. I’ve got a year’s worth of pills and I’m only two months in.”