Page 101 of Consummation

Jonas smirks. “Yeah, I’m well aware, Josh. Okay, thanks. Now what about the conference call with the sales team? We should get their numbers in advance of the call so we can—”

I shut my laptop with gusto. “Nope. No more work allowed for you for the rest of your trip.”

Jonas opens his mouth to protest.

“If anything else comes up this week, I’ll handle it. You’re on your honeymoon, bro—erase work from your mind.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re on vacation, too.”

“A honeymoon trumps a pre-baby vacation every time. Besides, Kat’s been sleeping a ton lately—she gets pretty wiped out these days—so I’ll have plenty of downtime in Argentina whenever she’s napping to address anything that might come up.”

Jonas exhales with relief. “Okay, cool. Thanks, Josh.”

“Just enjoy your honeymoon, man.”

“I plan to. We’re going to Belize next.”

“Ah, back to the scene of the original crime, huh?”

Jonas’ face lights up. “Yup. A tree house in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by howler monkeys—my idea of heaven on earth.”

“Sounds awesome.”

“So how’s Kat doing? Is she still puking?”

“Yeah, but not as much. She’s mostly just really tired. Apparently, it takes a lot of energy to incubate a mighty Faraday spawn. The good news for me is that, when Kat’s not sleeping or puking, her pregnancy hormones are through the roof.” I snicker. “It’s like my unicorn permanently strapped a jet engine between her legs.”

Jonas laughs. “Excellent.”

“Oh, yeah. I highly recommend pregnancy hormones.” I kiss the tips of my fingers like a French chef blessing his masterpiece.

“Good to know. Hopefully, Sarah will have the same experience when it’s her turn to incubate a mighty Faraday spawn.”

“Oh, you and Sarah are thinking about having kids?”

“Definitely. Not any time soon—but yeah.”

“Well, don’t wait too long,” I say. “My mighty Faraday spawn’s gonna need another mighty Faraday spawn to boss around sooner rather than later.”

“Oh, please. Your spawn’s gonna be my spawn’s little bitch,” Jonas says.

I laugh. “Bullshit, motherfucker. My spawn’s gonna kick your spawn’s tiny ass.”

“Ha! My spawn’s gonna make your spawn cry like a little baby.”

We both laugh.

“So how was New Zealand?” I ask.

“Fucking amazing,” Jonas says, leaning back in his chair. He gives me a summary of his and Sarah’s exciting Kiwi-adventures over the past week. “We stayed at the coolest place,” he says. “I’ll get you the info so you can take Kat.”

I scoff. “I think it’ll be a while before I take Kat rappelling down cliffs and bungee jumping off bridges.”

“Oh yeah.” Jonas grins. “I guess you’ll be laying low for a while on stuff like that, huh? How far along is she?”

“Fourteen weeks.”

“When the fuck will she actually look pregnant, by the way? She looks exactly the same as she always has.”

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