Page 104 of Consummation

“Jesus, Josh. You can’t be thinking deep thoughts like that—you’ll fuck up the entire world order.”

I smirk. “Okay. Phew. I’m thinking about motorboating pretty titties now. I’m good.”

Jonas laughs. “That was a close call. God help us if you created some sort of butterfly effect and fucked us all.”

“Seriously. That was truly scary.”

“Don’t do anything like that again,” Jonas warns. “You’ve still got five days in Argentina with your pregnant girlfriend after this—for fuck’s sake, don’t injure yourself, man, especially if your unicorn’s on a hot streak.”

“Hey, that reminds me,” I say. I peek toward the bedroom. This is the first time I’ve been alone with Jonas since the wedding—and his use of the word “girlfriend” just reminded me I haven’t told him about my plan to ask Kat to marry me. I glance toward the bedroom again to make sure Kat’s not coming out. “Hey, at your wedding, I had this epiphany that slammed me like a ton of bricks, man,” I begin.

The girls let out a collective sigh followed by a cheer in the other room and I glance at the door again.

“When we get home,” I say, “I’m gonna ask Kat to—”

Sarah and Kat burst out of the bedroom, both of them sobbing, and I abruptly shut my mouth.

“Oh my gawd,” Sarah bawls, wiping her eyes. “Best movieever.”

“Ever, ever, ever!” Kat agrees, tears streaming down her beautiful face. She hands my iPad to me. “Thank you, babe. Oh my gawd. Ilovedit.”

“One of my all-time faves,” Sarah says.

“Me, too. Top ten for sure. Maybe even top five.”

“Fo shizzle pops.” Sarah plops herself onto Jonas’ lap. “Hello, hunky monkey husband.”

“Hello, wife.”

Kat follows suit and plops herself down onto my lap, too. “Hey, PB,” she says

“Hey, PG,” I reply, my heart panging. Shit. If ever there was a time when our Playboy-Party-Girl nicknames felt woefully insufficient, it’s right now. Ever since Jonas and Sarah’s wedding, I’ve been chomping at the bit to call Kat my wife, and with each passing day, my desire becomes more and more urgent. “What movie were you two watching in there?” I ask. “It sounded like you were watchingSchindler’s List.”

“Oh, no, it was a romantic comedy.”

Jonas and I share a chuckle.

“About Time,” Sarah says reverently. “Oh mygawd. Have you seen it?”

“Never heard of it,” I say.

“You gotta see it,” Kat says. “The girl fromThe Notebookis in it. Have you seenThe Notebook?”

I shake my head.

“Oh. Well, did you seeLove Actually? You know the rock-star-British guy in that one?”

“Dude, unless Seth Rogan or Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler is in a movie, it’s a good bet I haven’t seen it.”

Kat rolls her eyes. “Do you know the red-haired guy from theHarry Pottermovies?” Kat asks.

“Well, of course,” I say. “Now you’re speaking my language.”

“But not the one who played Ron Weasley,” Sarah interjects. “The redheaded guy who played his older brother.”

Kat swats my arm. “The guy inEx Machina.”

“Oh,” I say. “Yeah?”

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