Page 116 of Consummation

I don’t hesitate. “Bathroom in my office in twenty,” I whisper.

“It’s a date.” She makes a sexual sound. “Goddamnyou turn me on, Joshua.”

“You’re killing me, Katherine,” I whisper. “I still gotta say hi to your fucking parents, for Chrissakes.”

“Sucks to be you, I guess,” she says. “Except that it’s about to be freakingawesometo be you, baby.” She winks.

“You’re killing me,” I whisper.

“What a way to go,” she whispers back.

“Come on, Kitty Kat,” Sarah says. “Dance with me.”

“Great,” Kat says, letting Sarah pull her to the dance floor. But just before she disappears into the crowd, Kat flashes me a look that’s so naughty, I have to put my hands in front of my crotch to hide my arousal.

Damn. Who knew pregnancy could be this fucking awesome? It started out rough, I’ll admit that, but these days, it’s nothing but fun. The woman’s been on fire lately, even for her.

“Can I ask you a few questions?” a female reporter asks Jonas to my left, her cameraman in tow—and for a split second, I’m reminded of Heidi Kumquat, who I seem to recall asked the Super Bowl MVP that very question.Kat.There’s never a dull moment with her. I’m so fucking head over heels in love with that girl, so obsessed with the idea of making her my wife, soaddictedto her, mind, body, and soul, I can barely function these days. I can’t even remember how it felt not to love her and sleep with her every night and fuck her at every opportunity. I truly never knew I could love someone this way—so completely. Sohonestly. It’s like Kat’s unlocked something that was hidden deep inside me, and every day I become more and more fullyme,as ridiculous as that sounds.

“Sure,” Jonas says to the reporter, but then he looks at me with desperation in his eyes, clearly hoping for some backup.

But he’s shit out of luck. For once, Jonas’ ever-reliable brother is going rogue.

I smile and wave at Jonas and, much to his obvious shock and annoyance, quickly slip into the crowd. Deserting him is a chicken-shit thing to do, probably, especially today—but I’ve got some important personal business to take care of before my bathroom date and only a limited opportunity while Kat’s distracted on the dance floor. Plus, there’s no doubt Jonas can handle that reporter on hisown—she’s a woman, after all—which means all he needs to do is smile at her and she’ll throw her panties at him and offer him the lead-off spot on the six o’clock news.

I scan the crowd looking for Louise, and quickly locate her standing next to Thomas, Ryan and Colby (who’s leaning on crutches), all of them watching the band and looking festive.

“Hey, everyone,” I say when I reach the group. “Thanks for coming.”

“Lambo!” Ryan says. He bro-hugs me. “Congrats. This is awesome.”

“Thank you.”

“Congratulations, Josh,” Colby adds, shaking my hand. “Really impressive.”

“Thanks. You’ve all got lifetime memberships, if you want ’em,” I say. I motion to Colby’s leg. “Standing offer for you, Colby, whenever you’re up to it.”

“Thanks,” Colby says. “Gimme three more months and I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

“Fantastic. I’ll personally climb with you whenever you want.”

“I’ll join you guys,” Ryan says. “Best work-out, ever. Hey, Dad, you should try it with us. I think you’d like it.”

“Maybe I will.”

“You’ve never climbed a rock wall?” I ask Thomas.

Thomas shakes his head.

“Gimme a call. I’ll give you a private lesson.”

“Thanks. That sounds fun,” Thomas says.

“Sure thing.” I glance across the room, making sure Kat is still dancing. “Hey, Louise, can I talk to you for a second?”

Louise’s face lights up. “You bet, honey. Excuse us, fellas.”

Kat’s mom and I move several yards away from the group, both of us looking furtively toward Kat on the other side of the large room. The band is playing “Brown Eyed Girl” and Kat’s twirling Sarah around and singing the song to her.