Page 152 of Consummation

Everyone laughs.

“Perfect. Thank you. You’re a beast of a best-man, Jonas Faraday.” I take a deep breath. “Now let’s get out there and get me a smokin’ hot wife, shall we?”

Everyone expresses enthusiastic agreement with that plan of action.

“Wife on three,” I say, putting my hand into the huddle.

Everyone covers my hand with theirs. “One, two, three.Wife!” we all shout together, and then throw our hands up.

“I love you, Josh,” Jonas says, slapping me on the back.

“No. Stop it.”

“I love you, too, Joshy,” Henn says, laying his cheek on my shoulder and side-hugging me.

“Me, too,” Reed says, laying his cheek on my other shoulder.

“So do I,” Uncle William says, patting my cheek.

“Look what you started, motherfucker,” I say to Jonas. I shake Reed and Henn off me and they laugh hysterically. “I love you all, too. You’re the best guys I know and I’d be lost without each and every one of you. Now, come on, guys. Quit making me say all this shit. I swear to God if I shart up there, I’m blaming all of you.”

Everyone laughs and high-fives and passes the tequila around one final time.

“All right. Enough fucking around. My fantasy-girl awaits. Let’s get out there and bag me a goddamned gorgeous wife.”

Forty-Two

Josh

The girl walking toward me on her father’s arm is literally the most spectacularly beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on in my entire life, without exception. She’s the precise sum of parts I’d order at the Build-a-Wife store if there were such a thing. Her dress is simple and white—the bottom half of the dress cascading over her round belly and floating like a soft cloud down to the sand.

She’s glowing from the inside-out, shining brighter than any diamond—which maybe explains why, despite all the ice I’ve recently showered her with, she’s opted to wear only two items of jewelry for her once-in-a-lifetime walk down the aisle: the ring I slipped onto her finger when I asked her to be my wife and the fucking amazing tear-drop sapphire-and-diamond earrings Uncle William gifted her from his late wife’s jaw-dropping collection. “Something old and something blue,” Uncle William said to Kat when he gave them to her last week. “But definitelynotsomething borrowed—they’re all yours, sweetheart. Welcome to the Faraday family.”

She’s gliding down the aisle with her father, floating like a glorious feather, smiling at people in the audience, and beaming at her father.

And then she locks eyes with me—and every bit of nerves I’ve been feeling vanishes. Why? Because my future wife is looking at me the exact way Sarah did when she walked down the aisle toward Jonas—the exact way I’ve longed for someone to look at me my whole fucking life, not even realizing it’s what I yearned for most.

Thomas and Kat reach me on the sand, and after kissing Kat’s cheek, Thomas gently guides his daughter toward me.

“Make her happy,” Thomas whispers to me, shaking my hand.

“Forever,” I murmur, taking Kat’s slender hand.

I kiss Kat’s cheek and whisper to her: “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

“I love you,” she replies.

“I love you, too.”

The officiant—a large Hawaiian guy in a white linen suit, sunglasses, and a lei—welcomes everyone and leads us through our very simple marriage ceremony. Or, at least, that’s what I presume he’s doing—I’m only half-listening. Because, seriously, what mortal man could possibly concentrate on what a Hawaiian dude in a white suit is saying while looking straight into the face of God’s most heavenly creation?

“And now, Josh and Kat have prepared vows for each other,” the officiant prompts—grabbing my full attention. “Kat?”

Kat takes a deep breath and squeezes my hand. “Josh,” she begins. “Joshua. You once asked me if I believe in fate—and I said, no, that I believe in kicking ass.”

I laugh and so does everyone in the audience.

“But now I know I was wrong about that. You’re my fate, my love—my destiny. I truly believe that every minute of my life up ’til now was engineered by a greater power to bring me to this moment—toyou—so that I could become your devoted wife.” She smiles and her eyes twinkle. “One of the things I love about you most is how you take care of everyone you love. As your wife, I vow to be the one who takes care ofyou,Josh.I promise to love you forever, always making sure your needs and greatest desires are satisfied beyond your wildest dreams. Every single day, I vow to make sure you wake up thinking, ‘Damn, I’m a lucky bastard,’ and every single night fall asleep thinking, ‘I can’t wait for tomorrow.’”

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