Page 45 of Consummation

“If you say so.”

“Oh, I do.” Jonas bends over, takes his complicated shot, and sinks it with ease.

“Goddamn, you.” I roll my eyes. “I hate playing against you. Against everyone else, I’m a fucking beast.”

“I’m sure you are. So how far along is she?”

“Almost ten weeks.”

Jonas whistles. “Wow.”

“Last week, the baby was the size of a grape. This week, it’s already the size of a kumquat.” I can’t help smiling to myself.The Kumquat’s carrying a kumquat.

“Good to see you smiling about it.”

I pause, surprised. “It’s actually kind of amazing how fast a guy can adjust to a new reality when there’s no other option,” I say.

“Happiness depends upon ourselves,’” Jonas says.

“Gosh, thanks, Plato.”

“Aristotle. You want Plato?”

“No,” I say.

“‘There are two things a person should never be angry at: what they can help, and what they cannot.’”

“Incredibly profound,” I say. “I feel magically better now. Hey, you wanna see something wild?” I pull out my phone and show Jonas the sonogram video Kat sent me the other day.

“Sarah was there?” Jonas asks at the sound of Sarah’s voice asking the doctor to explain the image on the sonogram screen.

“Yeah. Kat blabbed to her at lunch right before her doctor’s appointment. I guess Sarah didn’t wanna steal my thunder by telling you—she thought I should break the news to you.” I put my hands out like ta-da! “‘Hey, Jonas—you’re gonna be an uncle!’” I say with faux excitement. “There, I told you.”

Jonas shakes his head. “I’m impressed Sarah was able to keep such a big secret.”

“Kat couldn’t keep a secret to save her life,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Actually, I wouldn’t have minded Sarah telling you. I wish I could crawl under a rock and not have to tell anyone, to be honest.”

“You’re not jumping for joy about your impending fatherhood, I take it?”

“Pretty much shitting a brick.”

“So when’s the baby due?” Jonas asks. He calls another shot and sinks it with ease, yet again, and I place my stick on a rack in the corner in utter resignation.

“December second,” I reply. “Sagittarius.”

“Sagittarius?”

“Just like Henn.”

Jonas laughs. “Oh, shit. That’d be funny if you had a kid just like Henn.”

I can’t help but join Jonas laughing. That really would be funny.

“So do you believe all that astrology stuff?” Jonas asks.

I shrug. “Sort of. Kat’s kind of made a believer out of me, actually.”

Jonas surveys the table, lining up his next shot. “I can’t believe you’re gonna be a father, Josh.”

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