Page 61 of Consummation

“Just one of the many sacrifices we mothers make for our children,” she says piously.

I grin. She’s so damned cute. If I didn’t already love this woman, I would have just fallen in love with her.

“Actually, I don’t even need my Sybian anymore,” Kat says matter-of-factly. “Now that you and I finally live in the same city, you’ll be my one-and-only orgasm machine every single night.”

“Amen,” I say. I stroke her golden hair. “Hey, you think when I was fucking you really deep at the end the kumquat was like, ‘Eek! An anaconda!’?”

Kat giggles. “Or maybe the kumquat was like, ‘A little to the left.Lower. Aaaah.”

I grimace. “Ew, Kat.No. That’s disgusting. Don’t say that.”

Kat looks stricken. “No, I meant like a baby-back-scratcher—you know, like your dick was scratching an itch on the kumquat’s back.” She makes a face. “I didn’t mean anythingsexual, for cryin’ out loud.”

I put my hands over my ears. “Stop. Please. Either way, I don’t want to think about mydicktouching our baby. You’re totally traumatizing me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I just meant—”

“Stop. Please. I might never be able to get a hard-on again if I’m thinking about my dick scratching our baby’s back.”

Kat’s face bursts into a huge smile.

“You’re charmed by the thought of me becoming impotent?” I ask.

“You just said ‘our baby.’”

I look at her blankly.

“‘Our baby’s back,’” she says. “That’s what you said.”

“Yeah. Because I don’t want my dick to become a baby-back-scratcher. Duh.”

“Our baby,” she says reverently. “You called the kumquat our baby.” She grins.

“I did, didn’t I?” I tilt my head, trying to figure out what I’m feeling right now—and, honestly, I’m feelinghappyand nothing else. “Our baby,” I repeat.

Kat visibly swoons.

“Our wee little baaaaaybaaaaaaaaaaaay,” I say.

Kat giggles.

“You know what?” I say. “I just realized I’m not freaked out anymore.”

“Me, either.”

“Well, actually, I’m still a little freaked out, don’t get me wrong, but not nearly like I was when you first told me.”

Kat smiles. “Onward and upward.”

“Indubitably.”

“Hey, bee tee dubs, it’s anatomically impossible for anyone’s dick to become a baby-back-scratcher, even a dick as huge as yours.”

“Really?” I ask.

Kat nods. “I researched it. The cervix is in the way. Impossible, no matter how big the donkey-dick.”

“You’resure?”

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