Page 75 of Consummation

I sit primly with my hands in my lap as Josh moves around the back of the car and opens my door.

“Thank you, sir,” I say as Josh helps me out of the car and escorts me toward my parents’ front door. “Glenfarclas 1955,” I say, reading the label on the box of Scotch in my hand. “I know nothing about Scotch. Is that a good one? ”

Josh lets out a little puff of air. “Yeah.”

I stop short. That little air-puff raised the hair on the nape of my neck. “Hang on,” I say.

Josh stops. “What?”

“How good?” I ask.

“How good what?”

“How good a bottle of Scotch is this?”

“Good. You said your dad loves Scotch, so I got him something I was sure he’d really like.”

“Oh, jeez.”

“What?”

“Josh.Honey. Your idea of a ‘good’ Scotch is gonna be different than the average person’s.”

Josh looks at me blankly.

“Josh, how much did this bottle of Scotch cost?”

He opens his mouth and closes it.

“Josh?”

“It cost me nothing. My uncle gave it to me from his private collection.”

“Your uncle . . ? Oh, shit. Josh, what’s itworth?”

Josh winces. “Well, okay, it’s alittleon the extravagant side, I’ll admit that—but not too bad. Not, like,crazy. I just wanted to be sure it’d be something your dad would really like.”

“How much is alittleextravagant, honey? Gimme a number.”

“Don’t forget this is a special occasion. I’ll never again meet your parents for the first time. I just wanted to make a good impression.”

My heart’s racing. “Josh, you’re freaking me out. How much is it worth?”

“Eight.”

I inhale sharply. “Eight hundred dollars?”

Josh looks as guilty as sin.

“Eighthundredbucks for a bottle of Scotch?” I ask again slowly, incredulous.

Josh doesn’t reply, but he looks like he just confessed to murder.

“Josh, you can’t give my father an eight-hundred-dollar bottle of Scotch—especially not the first time you meet him.”

Josh grimaces.

“It was such a sweet thought, honey, but you’re gonna freak him out and make him think you’re some sort of eccentric tycoon or something—like, who’s that hermit-guy with airplanes?”