Page 77 of Consummation

“What about this, Playboy?” I ask, holding up the wine bottle.

Josh waves me off. “Oh, that’s just, you know, a Cabernet.”

“Mmm hmm. Just a Cabernet?”

“Yep.”

He’s not fooling me for a minute—he looks guilty as hell. “Like, you mean the kind of Cabernet someone could pick up at Whole Foods for twenty bucks?” I ask. “Or, maybe if theyreallywanna splurge, for like, fifty?”

Josh looks like I’ve just tweaked his nipple. Hard.

“Joshua?” I coax. “What kind of Cabernet are we talking about here, babe?”

Josh purses his lips. “Goddammit, Kat. I can’t be expected to follow your stupid rules. I am what I am.”

I laugh. “Did you buy it or get it from your uncle?”

“I bought it. And it didn’t cost evencloseto eight thousand bucks, I promise. We’re good.”

“If it’s more than a hundred bucks, it’s too much, baby. I’m sorry.”

Josh makes a face but doesn’t speak.

“It’s more than a hundred bucks, isn’t it?”

He nods. “But only slightly. How ’bout we give it to her and not mention its pedigree? We’ll just let her think it’s some Australian red I got at Whole Foods on the way here.”

“How much, Josh?”

He shrugs. “Four.”

I squint. “Hundred?”

He shakes his head.

“Josh!”

Josh makes an absolutely adorable face.

I point at his car. “Put it in the Lamborghini with the Scotch,” I say. “Jesus God, man. Have you no common sense?” But even as the words come out of my mouth, I glance at his ridiculous car that probably cost as much as a condo and feel like I just answered my own question.

Josh laughs. “Babe, but this particular Cabernet’s areallygreat vintage.”

I shake my head. “Oh my God, you’re so out of touch, it’s scary. You can’t give my mom a four-thousand-dollar bottle of wine, honey. I’m sorry. You’re a sweetheart, you really are, but you’re insane.”

“Shit,” Josh says, looking bummed. “Fine.” He grabs the wine from me and hands me the pie, and then traipses to his car, exhaling in resignation as he goes. “Sorry,” he says when he returns to me on the walkway again. “I was just trying to...” He trails off and doesn’t finish his sentence. He shrugs.

“I know what you were trying to do,” I say. “But it’s too much.”

Josh twists his mouth. “Douchey?”

I kiss him. “Not at all.Sweet.” I kiss him again. “God, I love you.”

Josh grins into my lips. “Say that again.”

“I love you,” I whisper.

Josh nuzzles my nose. “One more time.”

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