Page 99 of Consummation

“Thank you,” I manage to say, my heart leaping.

Louise flashes me a truly lovely smile. “No, thankyou.You obviously make our Kitty Katveryhappy.”

Speak of the she-devil, Kat sidles up to our table, a bottle of water in her hand, her face covered in a light sheen of perspiration. “You guys look like you’re plotting the invasion of a small country,” she says. “What’s shakin’, bacon?”

I leap up and give Kat a kiss on her rosy cheek and guide her to the seat next to mine. “Hey, babe. I was just giving your dad a taste of my uncle’s Glenfarclas 1955.”

Kat shoots me a look of chastisement. “You just couldn’t resist, could you, Playboy?” She looks at her parents. “Josh always saysI’mthe blabbermouth who can’t keep a secret but look who’s the blabbermouth now. Ha!” She snorts and swigs her water. “I told him it was too extravagant, but I guess the Playboy just couldn’t control himself.”

Kat’s mom and dad look utterly confused.

“What are you talking about?” Thomas asks.

There’s a beat as Kat realizes she’s just blabbed yet another secret. “Oh. You... didn’t give my dad the bottle?” she asks.

I shake my head.

“Damn,” Kat says. “Whoops.” She grins sheepishly. “Well, Dad, surprise! Josh isgivingyou that bottle of that Glenfarkity-fuckity-fuck-whatever. Do you like it?”

I shake my head again. “Kat, no. My uncle brought hisownbottle of Glenfarclas tonight—he has several bottles of it in his collection. I just brought your dad aglasstotastefrom myuncle’sbottle. I’ve still got your dad’s bottle—which I didn’t tell him about and was still planning to give him later as a surprise.”

Kat’s face turns bright red. “Oh. Well, oops again.” She snorts. “Well, Dad, Josh got a bottle of the stuff for you but I wouldn’t let him give it to you because I said it was too extravagant a gift.”

“Oh, wow,” Thomas says. “Really? Thank you, Josh. But Kat’s right, that really is too extravagant.”

“Can I get all the single ladies onto the dance floor?” the lead singer of the band calls over the microphone on the far side of the restaurant. “It’s time for the bouquet toss!”

“No, Thomas, I insist,” I say. “I’ll have the bottle delivered to your house this week.” I shoot Kat a scolding look. “There’s no sense in waiting now, is there?”

Thomas looks elated, but he nonetheless says the polite thing. “No, I really can’t accept.”

“Too late. It’s yours. If you feel too weird about it, then open it for a special occasion—maybe when the baby’s born?”

Thomas beams a wide smile at me. “All right. Thank you. Iaccept, but only if we’re gonna open it together to celebrate the birth of my grandbaby.”

“Deal,” I say.

“And, Mom, don’t feel left out,” Kat says. “Josh got some fancy Cabernet for you, too. Some hoity-toity vintage.”

“Oh, Josh. You’re so sweet,” Louise says. “But I really wouldn’t know the difference. I’m happy with a twelve-dollar bottle of merlot.”

Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” starts blaring over the sound system.

“Last call for all the single ladies to try to catch Sarah’s bouquet!” the bandleader calls out.

“Too late,” I say. “I already got it for you, Lou. I guess you’ll have to grin and bear it.”

“Well, thank you, Josh. You’re so sweet.” Louise glances at the commotion happening on the dance floor. “Honey, aren’t you gonna get over there?” she says to Kat.

Thomas touches Louise’s forearm, obviously signaling his wife to shut the fuck up and she clamps her lips together, apparently realizing she’s treading into dangerous territory.

“Mom,please,” Kat says, her tone suddenly indignant. “Like I told you guys last week, Josh and I aren’t gonna get married. Deal with it. We’ve talked about it like adults and made our decision. Please respect that.”

“Oh, we do, honey,” Thomas says, pacifying his little stick of dynamite. “We completely respect that.”

“Here we go!” the bandleader says behind us on the dance floor. “Are you ready, Sarah?”

Kat looks longingly toward the dance floor for a beat and then back at us, setting her jaw. “I can understand how being at this wedding has probably made you guys dream about watching me walk down the aisle in a white dress. Dad, seeing as how I’m your only daughter, I’m sure you can’t help imagining yourself walking me down the aisle on your arm. But it’s just not gonna happen, okay? You’ve got to let it go. I certainly have. One hundred percent.”

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