Page 47 of Infatuation

“No. Of course, not.”

“Well, there you go. Works both ways. Have you ever hadmeaningfulsex?”

“Of course. I strongly prefer it, actually. But I find it’s much, much harder to come by.”

She nods. “I agree. I prefer it, too—and, yes, it’s much,muchharder to come by.”

We stare at each other for a long beat.

The bartender places our shots in front of us.

“To you, Kat—to the honorary dude who’s blowing my mind right now.”

“To you, Josh—to the playboy who’s maybe not quite as much of a playboy as I originally thought.”

We knock back our shots.

“Whew,” she says. “I can’t feel my toes.”

“So do you possess any other dude-like qualities besides unapologetically engaging in meaningless sex with sports stars?” I ask.

“Well, my brothers say I laugh like a dude, but I don’t know about that.”

“You do. Totally.”

“I hardly ever cry.”

“Okay. That’s a plus.”

“I’m not easily offended, but when I am, watch the fuck out, because I’ve got a fucking temper, motherfucker, and I will cut you.”

“Whoa. Good to know. Anything else?”

“Well, I can burp the alphabet. And I don’t flinch when men fart around me—the sound of men farting is just white noise to me at this point, like a sound machine that lulls me to sleep.”

I laugh. “Wow.”

“Yup.”

“What about girlie stuff? Tell me some of that stuff so I don’t start imagining you hiding a dick and balls under there.”

“Well, let’s start with the biggest girlie thing of all: I have avagina.”

“That’s definitely a biggie. Glad to hear it.”

“Oh, and here’s something. I like saying the wordvagina. Vagina, vagina, vagina. I say it a lot.Vagina.”

“Actually, I think that’s another dude thing. Vagina, vagina, vagina. See? I like saying it, too.Vagina.”

“Or maybe that’s agirliething aboutyou.”

“Hmm. I never thought of it that way.Vagina. Hmm. I dunno. You may be right.”

“Have you noticed people never say that word?” she says. “Why is that?”

“Because they’re pussies,” I reply.

She laughs.

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