Page 94 of The Wrong Side of the Law

Shaking off the reverie, I settle in to work, immersing myself in the analysis of a motion brief from one of my ASA’s. In the middle of making a note, I become aware that Karin is standing in front of my desk.

“Finally,” she grumbles. “I yelled at you from my desk, and you didn’t say anything.”

“What is it?” I ask.

“Emily called,” she says, and turns to walk away with no further explanation.

“Hold up a minute! Why didn’t you just put her through to me?”

My receptionist turns and rolls her eyes.

“Because you weren’t here?” The words themselves do not form a question, not really, though the lift in Karin’s voice at the end makes it sound like one. The subtext is clear, however: she’s actually askingare you so dumb you can’t figure this out for yourself?

I sigh heavily. Elbows on the desk, I bury my face in my hands.

“Karin, when did Emily call?”

“About five minutes before you got here,” she answers, again rolling her eyes so hard I expect to hear apopas she snaps her optic nerves.

“And is there some reason you didn’t tell me this when I walked past your desk and said good morning?”

“Didn’t think of it,” she says, shrugging and again turning to leave. Again, subtext:what’s your problem? Get off my ass!

“Karin,” I snap, stopping her short before she reaches the door. “What message, exactly, did Emily leave with you?”

“She said she’s going to be a few-” the receptionist begins, then turns to look over her shoulder at the sound of the outer office door opening.

Emily bursts into the inner office, quickly ducking around my useless receptionist and sliding into her desk chair.

“-minutes late,” Karin finishes, lamely.

I stare at Karin in wonder for a long span of seconds, completely awestruck that she could be this completely incompetent at her job. It must really be true, what they say about government employees being impossible to fire.

“Thank you, Karin,” I say, struggling to keep my voice even, but it’s an open question as to whether I’m trying to avoid snapping or laughing at her. “Close the door on your way out.”

“What do the two of you do in here all day with the door closed?” she asks, ignoring my instructions.

“We… work?” Now it’s my turn for the sarcastic subtext.

“On what?” Karin asks, and I’ve finally had enough.

“I’d explain it to you,” I tell her, “but if you can’t even figure out why it’s important to pass on phone messages in a timely manner—which, let me remind you, is pretty muchyour entire job—I’m pretty sure that this is all going to go over your head, too.”

Karin just stares at me, slowly processing the insult, and I grin cheerfully at her.

“Now please, shut the door on your way out.”

Emily’s eyes, sparkling with suppressed laughter, follow the door as it swings shut. When the latch catches, she finally lets out a gleeful snort.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the day I met her,” I confess. “Feels good, y’know? Like scratching an itch that’s been bugging you all day.”

“I’m right there with you,” Emily says. “I’m glad I got to see it happen. What’s on the agenda for this morning?”

“I’m going over Kowalski’s opposition brief on Westhaven’s motion for summary dismissal. Defense is arguing fromPardoabout a precedent from a different district that they say is controlling, and-”

“Oh, let me guess!” she says, doing a little eye-rolling of her own. “How shall I put it… Ah! He hasn’t exactly demolished their arguments, shall we say?”

“Got it in one,” I chuckle, watching Emily rolling her chair toward the end of my desk.

“Let me have a look,” she says, and I hand over the brief.

Oh, God, thank you for this woman. Brains, beauty, and we fit together so well. You did good when you made her. Please don’t let anything fuck this up for us, huh?

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