Page 75 of Finding Home with You

Sarah laughs into the phone and says, “I can’t picture you resting, so I’m definitely coming today.”

As I hang up, I realize I’m going to have to explain to her why there’s a random man milling about my house. I scrub my hands over my face, as I silently curse my dad and Anthony, and even Ryan for making my life a fucking mess.

I don’t want to involve Sarah in any of this. It’s bad enough that Ryan’s involved both professionally and personally, but lying to her seems wrong, very wrong. She’s the baby’s aunt and will be in my life regardless. Keeping secrets from her is not the best way to start a relationship. I know this well.

I spend some more time sitting at my kitchen table contemplating what to do, before hesitantly calling out to Chris.

“Hey Chris?”

“Yeah, Erin,” he answers back as if he’s not a stranger in my home but rather a friend and it weirds me out even more. How often does he hang out in strangers’ homes? Is this normal for him?

“Could I convince you to leave?”

“No,” is all he says and I know there’s no point in even trying.

Instead of arguing with Chris, I text Ryan hoping I can get him to budge on this ridiculous house arrest/bodyguard thing he’s got going on here.

Me: Your sister is coming to visit today. She’s going to stay for a few days. So if you could call off the bodyguard that would be great. Thanks.

I’m sure he’ll be able to sense my annoyance and my sarcasm even through a text message.

It takes no more than thirty seconds for him to answer me. This whole accident, baby, mob boss ex-boyfriend thing has made him very responsive.

Ryan: Sarah???

Me: Yes

Ryan: Ok

Me: Ok, what?? You’ll tell this creeper to take a hike then??

Ryan: Nope. I answered ok to let you know it was ok for Sarah to visit.

Me: I hope you’re not acting like I need your permission to have someone visit MY home.

Ryan: Me?? Never.

Me: Ryan, seriously…how am I going to explain this to your sister!!???

Ryan: Make something up.

His response does nothing to ease my anxiety, so instead of texting him back, I call him and he picks up on the first ring.

“Hey, baby.”

“Ryan, I’m not going to lie to your sister,” I say without greeting him.

“I’ve got about five minutes, babe. I’m not trying to rush you, but I can’t really sit on the phone arguing with you. I mean that in the most loving way.” I can tell he’s smiling. I can hear it in his voice and something about it is soothing.

“Ok, but do you really want me to tell your sister the truth? It’s pretty fucking complicated.”

“Then just tell her we think the car accident had something to do with a case I’m working on. That wouldn’t be a lie…just an omission.”

I guess that’s as good as it’s going to get, and he’s right, it’s not exactly a lie, but it does shield her from too much information.

We say our good-byes and I hang up, but not before telling Ryan I love him. While it still feels weird, it also feels completely right.

About five hours later Sarah is pulling into my driveway and I have to quell the urge to tell Chris to disappear. Even when I walk into the room and answer the front door, he still acts like I’m not there. His ability to ignore me is unnerving, and my ability to not ignore him bothers me even more.

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