Page 47 of Dravin

I am. I’m losing my shit.

“We’re not actually related.” It just happens. It comes out. I clench my phone and squeeze my eyes shut. “We just needed to start over, and he thought this was the safest story. I had a brother. He was blood. He was Dravin’s brother too, even though they didn’t share DNA. Honestly, Tarynn, Idon’t know about his medical shit. There’s so much he hasn’t told me.”

To her credit, she doesn’t so much as miss a single beat. “Does anyone else know?”

“Not really. Preacher, I guess. Do you not want me to come down there?” Pain lashes me. That would be the worst thing I could imagine. Not being able to see Dravin when he needs me. I know he’d like it better that way, but that’s not going to stop me. “I’d understand. I lied to you.”

“Your past belongs to you. We all have things we don’t tell other people. I do. Crow does. All of us. Don’t worry about the food. I’ll order something for everyone. They’re finished for today. I’m getting Vietnamese. What can I get you?”

I can’t imagine eating anything right now. I feel like I’ve just been winded hard enough to make me gag. “Anything. Thank you.”

“Are you okay getting here? You don’t have a car.”

“I’m okay.”

“I’ll order you a car and then I can trace your destination on their app. Is that okay?”

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yes. Thanks again.”

As soon as she hangs up, I let my phone fall from my hand. I clutch them together, shaking as badly as if I’m going into shock. My face is awash with hot tears that cascade down my cheeks and drip off my chin to the floor. I’m probablyoverreacting. Tarynn seemed calm, but for a moment thinking that something had happened to Dravin…

I suck in a breath and force another, then leap up, swipe at my face and get my shit together.

Ten minutes later, I’m dressed, have my hair put up, and did a layer of passable makeup.

Dravin would never forgive himself if he knew I was sitting here worrying about him and crying over this. He’d think he’d hurt me, and it would make him feel guilty. I know that it’s true because Marcus was the same way and Dravin is even more sensitive. He’s a deeper thinker than my brother was. He feels things that Marcus never did.

I know why I’m losing my mind. I lost my brother. That’s something I’m going to have to try and process for the rest of my life. I can’t lose anyone else right now. Even just the thought of it scares me to death.

I’m not in love with Dravin. That’s not what’s making me lose my mind. I’m just… I don’t know. Regular emotions are no longer for people like us. I suppose that we’re attached to each other and the way that started out is changing.

I throw a sweater on over a tank top, slip into my flip flops, and grab my bag. I’m at the door and waiting four minutes before a cherry red car pulls up in front of the house.

My driver is a young woman who barely looks old enough to have her license, but she’s cheerful and sweet. Her endless, almost hyper chatter pulls me out of myself and a few times, she even has me smiling.

I thank her, tell her to be safe, and tip her well when we get to Crow’s studio. The lights above are all dark.Dravin’s place. I haven’t even stepped one foot inside there.

All my doubts and feelings about being an intruder here, a liar, a person I don’t know or recognize, fade as soon as I push open the heavy wood door. Tarynn comes streaking across the room, a bright pink blur, and hugs me like we’ve been besties for years, not like she’s only met me twice before.

I need it.

My god, do I ever need it.

“The food just arrived.” Tarynn backs off to give me space to breathe, even if that feels pretty much impossible at the moment.

I’m too agitated to notice much of my surroundings except for the red ornate sofa and chaise with the gold trim and the walls with just about every square inch crammed with artwork of all different varieties. Normally, I’d be captivated. I’d take my time studying each and every detail, drinking in style, composition, and choice of medium. I’d look at things like matting and framing.

Right now I just care about one thing.

One person.

Tarynn takes my hand and squeezes a little too hard. I don’t like the way it seems like she’s trying to prepare me for something terrible.

“We told Dravin we called you and he didn’t like it. He didn’t want you to come down here, the whole macho,no one’s allowed to see me like this, lest of all Kael.” She drops hervoice as my stomach bottoms out. “I’m guessing that he would never have used your real name if he wasn’t out of his head. Or is it a nickname?”

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