Page 59 of Dravin

“Not painful though?”

I still have my legs wrapped around him and I wasn’t careful about that, or where I put my hands. I might have dug something in and hurt him.

“No. Not painful.”

He fuses his lips over mine, exploring me like I’m the destination he’s spent his whole life pining for and now he’s finally given up the last of his fucks to take that trip.

In a way, this is a trip neither of us have taken before. I want to do this with him, get close, let him see me, let him under my skin, in a way that I’ve never done with anyone else.

“This is crazy,” he pants against my lips before sucking the bottom one into his mouth hard enough to bruise. It comes away tingling. “Probably, literally unhinged. I’ve never lost my shit. Not in the worst, most stressful, darkest moments. You’re right. They did drown me and bring me back. Over and over and fucking over again. I’ve seen things I don’t want to remember. I’ve had to make peace with my past. This is more frightening.”

I take his face in both hands, digging my fingers into his cheeks and neck in an unhinged way. “Don’t feel like you’re going back on your promise. Thisiskeeping me safe.Youare my safe place, and I will damn well fucking fight for you right back through every single thing that life has coming for us.”

“It takes more than just… this to make a relationship. Is that what we want?”

Relationship is a huge word, a huge commitment, and basically a mythical fucking unicorn when it comes to my life. I can’t even fathom that right now, but isn’t that exactly what I’ve been thinking? Dating just seems so trivial when someone comes into your life and every single one of your senses is completely overwhelmed.

I trip the truth straight from my heart and hand it to him. “I just want to be where you are.”

He presses his forehead against mine. “I’ve never been so in tune with anyone. You said exactly what I was thinking. It’s uncanny.”

“Hey, back there on the porch, I thought I’d conjured you by magic. I just about jumped out of my skin when you came back because I was focusing real hard on making ithappen.” I laugh softly, half nervous and half out of my mind as I cling to him. “I’m such a dork.”

“A beautiful dork.”

“If you came back because you want this, even if you think you shouldn’t, then fuck me right now and right here. On the floor. Against the wall. On the front porch. I don’t actually care, I justneedyou.”

“The front porch?”

“Maybe not the front porch, considering we’re keeping it low key and I’ve never been into exhibitionism.”

He claims my mouth, this time leading the kiss. He throws himself behind it and I can feel his strings coming undone one by one, all his protests floating up in the air, leaving us untethered.

His tongue strokes mine right before he takes us both down to the ground. He catches me though, laying me down gently. My fingers tangle in his hair not so gently. He bites down on my lip, sucking at the sting. I’m tucked between his thick, muscular thighs and I give it back to him by shoving my other hand between us, driving it down his hard abs in a way that makes him shudder against me. I grab his hard cock through his jeans.

“What if I break you?” he groans, thumping the floor next to my head with a closed fist. I watch his fingers flex and knit back together. He’s not fighting me. He’s only fighting himself and his own head.

“I’m too strong to let that happen. Lots of shit in my life has tried to get me there and it’s never been able to. Trust me, you aren’t as strong as death and you’re not nearlyas powerful as grief. That sounds awful. Never mind. You won’t. You just…won’t.”

“What if it’s good and I fuck it all up? What if I get too obsessed?” His hand unfurls, fingers clawing the floor. Mine tighten around his throbbing erection.

“My guess is you’re already obsessed. I’m flattered. I like it. It’s not toxic the way you’re doing it, calling falling for someone from a distance obsession. I think?”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Just fuck it. I can handle you. Physically. Mentally.” Hopefully in every other way. I’m putting on a brave face for my wounded heart. It’s so far from healed, but he’s the reason I have any hope at all.

I jerk his zipper down with too much force. I undo the button with just as much impatience, dragging his boxers down and freeing his cock.

He cups my ass and jerks my hips up into the air. I still have the oversized t-shirt and leggings on that I donned after I showered this morning.

Very calmly, his hand comes to circle mine. He rolls his boxers over his thick length and tucks it back into his jeans. He leaves them open, which drives me half mad. I want the heavy weight of him in my palm again, hot steel painting my artist hands with his precum.

Fine. If he’s not going to let me touch him, I’m just going to make sure that he touches me.

He’s already ahead of me, dragging down my leggings with such brute force that I’m shocked they survive.They’re just thin black cotton. I’m not wearing any panties underneath. They’re more like pajamas for me.

“Fuck,” he hisses.

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