For fuck’s sake.Maybe this is the universe screaming at me that Idon’tneed to talk to Stone. Either way, we get in the middle of the floor, and she wraps her arms around my neck as I wrap my arms around her waist. I don’t know the song that’s playing, but it’s definitely slow.
At some point during the song, we shift, so I’m once again facing Stone. He’s still watching me, an unreadable, dark expression painted on his face. Not angry or jealous… Maybe curious. I’m caught in the magnetic trance all over again, unable to pull my gaze away from the one person I shouldn’t be staring at.
Looking at him reminds me ofeverything.
It reminds me of that night in Portland. Our first kiss against the wall.
It reminds me of the storm at the University when something shifted irrevocably between us during that power outage.
It reminds me of the very first time he took me to the field. And then the second time he took me there… the way he held me, kissed me, touched me. The night we finally gave in to our desires under the bright moonlight.
But it also reminds me of graduation. Of realizing he left. Realizing that I wasn’t enough to stay or enough to even say goodbye to. I wasn’t enough for any sort of explanation.
The backs of my eyes sting, and the lump in my throat is making it hard to swallow. Am I ever going to be able to think about him and not feel such a strong array of emotions? It’s been five goddamn years since he left, yet it feels like yesterday. The song we’re dancing to ends, another immediately starting.
The song sends chills down my spine as my muscles tighten. The upbeat song vibrates through the speakers, several people clapping and cheering. It’s not a sad one, by any means, but it rocks me to my core anyway.
My eyes yet again fly to Stone, who’s still watching me. He knows exactly what’s going through my mind, I just know it. That same song from all those years ago that we listened to in the car on our way home from Portland. The song I gave him shit for. My hands fall from Stella as I take a step back.
I need to get out of herenow.
“I’m sorry, Stella. I gotta go.” Taking two more steps backward, my gaze stays locked on Stone before I spin on my heel.
“Is everything okay?” I hear Stella ask, but I’m already gone. My legs eat up the distance to the door with large steps, and my hands fly up to shove the heavy door open. I don’t look back, I justgo. I can’t look at him. I can’t hear that song. I certainly can’t do both at the same fucking time.
Not without breaking down.
Vaguely, in the inner corners of my mind, the sound of the doors opening back up reaches me, but I keep moving. One foot in front of the other. The elevator is in sight. I just have to make it to them before he reaches me, and I’ll be okay.
I can do this.
Chapter Thirty-One
Stone Philips
Shit.
My feet are moving of their own accord toward the door Cash just flew out of before I even know what’s going on. This entire night has been fucking weird. It feels like the calm before the storm. Then that fucking Whitney Houston song justhadto come on.
In the hallway, my gaze lands on his back as he storms down the hall toward the elevators.
“Cash!” I shout to him as I pick up the pace, desperately needing to catch up to him. “Cash, please. Fuck! Will you slow down?”
“Fuck off, Stone!” His voice is gruff, and he isn’t slowing down.Fuck.The elevator doors open, and he steps inside and presses a button immediately. My speed walk turns into a jog, my dress shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor as I make my way toward him. I can’t let him fucking leave. My hand flies out to stop the door from closing as I cross over the threshold.
Wrath paints his face, fury swimming in his onyx eyes. He lets out a frustrated breath, lip curling into a sneer. “What the fuck do you want, Stone?”
“I want you to fucking stop and just fucking talk to me!”
“What for? What good will that do? Help clear your conscience?”
I fucking hate how much I’ve hurt him. How I’m the reason he has trouble trusting people. I fucked him up and I can’t ever take back what happened. More than anything, I want to lay it all out there. Finally tell him what happened and why I left. Why I stayed away and felt like I couldn’t come back. But I can’t. That’s not fair to him. I’ve caused him enough hurt. I can’t pile more of my shit onto his shoulders. He hates me now, but he’d hate me more if I did that to him.
“Cash,” I sigh, reaching out to grab his hand. “Please.”
His gaze falls to where my hand is touching his moments before he rips it away as if I physically burned him. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Please. Can we please fucking move past this? Talk?”